Beyond frustrated!
I have reached the point where I can't stand mini-BM, aka my step daughter. She's snotty, she's whiny, she insists the world revolves around her, and she is a pig. She's been "home" for 2 days, and my perfectly pristine house has traces of her all over it. Shoes in every corner, coats and sweaters draped over every chair, electronics all over my counters, crumbs, dirty dishes. I am not a maid. I ask her to clean up after herself, and then I have to tell her EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM. to pick up. A simple "Clean up after yourself" means maybe 2 of the messes she made gets cleaned, out of 10.
And DH- God, I love him, but he is on my last nerve. He asks me what's wrong and I have to say nothing, which is clearly not the case. But, if I tell him what's wrong we'll get into it because I know he won't want to hear "Oh, you know, I just can't stand your daughter being in our house." And then shit gets really bad, because we fight, and then he sees how I feel, and then he overcompensates by over disciplining, and she hides away in her room to call her mother any time we ask her to lift a finger.
I can't take it.
Don't get me started on BM. Story for another day.
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I did once throw something
I did once throw something away that continued to sit on the steps for 4 days. I asked her SIX TIMES to take it up. So I threw it away... DH said it was mean and how would I feel if someone threw my stuff away.
I told him I wouldn't leave something I cared about sitting on the steps for 4 days.
Deny it the next time. If
Deny it the next time. If she's so bloody careless that she leaves things lying around for days on end, throw it away and say NOTHING.
I like the basket idea.
When I moved in with my DH, the house was a pig sty. You could walk into the skids' bedroom, but that was it. In the living room, the couch and love seat and tables were piled high. Took me 6 days to clean those 2 rooms. DH was appalled by what I found in the skids' room - suckers stuck to the carpet, candy and food wrappers, underwear with skid marks... There were candy and food wrappers and pop cans all over the living room - even stuffed into the sides of the couch and love seat. I told DH "never again".
So... DH made the rule that when the skids go home, anything they leave ANYWHERE in the living room OR on the floor of their bedroom goes into the garbage. NO exceptions. It didn't take long. Some legos, a Nerf gun, a brand new t-shirt, a few socks... I can now vacuum in their room without having to pick up a single thing.
This is amazing. We live in
This is amazing.
We live in silence unless a. DH is around and SD needs to kiss ass or b. I'm asking her to do something for the umpteenth time. UGHHH
dirty dishes on the
dirty dishes on the bed....
the rest in the basket and gone. Hidden in the house somewhere, and HE doesn't know about it either.
Play dumb until SHE has to ask you where her crap is
She does complain to mom, but
She does complain to mom, but BM and DH don't talk so he never really hears about it. It's just irritating that she goes and cries about having to do.. GASP!... a chore or homework and her mother actually "poor babies" her.
And my husband had to insist
And my husband had to insist Sd say goodnight me. She literally told him she didn't want to.
I'm not sure what I've done to deserve all this.
That's about it in a
That's about it in a nutshell.
ALL we have to do is exist and that's the crime of the century.
I learned on this site years
I learned on this site years ago...if it's left laying around, throw it away.
I started by sticking things in a hamper for a couple of weeks. NObody ever mentioned them so I tossed them into the trash. Then I'd store them a week. Then a few days. Soon it got to be the second skid went home I threw away anything that was left lying around.
Years later, I still do it. Not one thing has ever been blamed on me.
ONCE I was asked if I'd seen X because he "thought he maybe left it" (weeks earlier) and I said "no, why doesn't he know where it is?" And felt no guilt at all.