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No, BM, I do not want to be your friend...

TheEvilSM's picture

In BM's latest attempt to annoy my husband, she has started trying to "co-parent" with me. What does this mean? She contacts me every. single. day. about every. little. thing. I would totally respond "I don't care about any of this, please leave me alone" but I am sure that if I said this it would turn into "See Dsd, your father and SM don't care about you."

While she pretends to want to be Best Friends Forever with me, she is also ranting to DSD that we all treat her like crap (huh? We treat you like nothing- because we don't talk) and she doesn't know why she stuck around and she should just move away. Seriously? It's no wonder that DSD is insecure and makes crazy things up for attention. Someone remove me from this blended family hell!

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TheEvilSM's picture

For a long time, we only had cell phones, so she had my number to reach DSD. I do manage some of DSD's stuff, like her lunch account at school and such. I don't want to be, but there was a time when I was gung-ho about being a step mom (haha). So, I still begrudgingly do it, and fwd low balance notifications on.

I guess my next response will be: "I understand coordinating drop offs and pick ups with me, but you need to communicate with DH about anything that doesn't directly involve me. Thanks" eh?

Cadence's picture

Step out of whatever roles you took on when you were that naive, and block her. She and DH are the parents and they can figure out low balances on the lunch account without your oversight.

"I guess my next response will be: "I understand coordinating drop offs and pick ups with me, but you need to communicate with DH about anything that doesn't directly involve me. Thanks" eh?"

Good luck with that. You'll get an earful about how you're trying to boss her around and tell her what to do. You're in a no-win situation and whatever you do will be wrong in BM's eyes.

It would have been better if she never had your number. The only way out is to be passive about it and block her.

MommyMayI's picture

I tell bm that pick ups and all that are up to her and DH and that she should call him. Also, let her know when she can call. Tell her you are really busy throughout the week but she can call one night a week at so and so time if she needs something.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

You could try tailoring all of your responses to include referring her to DH. "IDK, but I'll pass your question along to DH" & "You should tell DH, I know he would be interested" & "DH handles that". Make the people who made the skid deal with it. Be vague and slow to respond, too.

notasm3's picture

When DH and I were first together she asked for my number as DH did not text from his phone. I sent the text that SHE REQUESTED and got my head bitten off when I sent her a text. I knew nothing about her at the time but that made me realize that she was to be avoided at all costs.

A few years later after DH and I were married she sent me a FB friend request. No thanks - but I did refrain from saying " eat shit and die bitch. "