Other peoples children
I have read many posts on here about childless SMs and how annoying kids are. To all you SMS out there that feel this way let me tell you....
I have TWO bios. Since they were old enough I taught them "store behavior". It is the best behavior possible I would tell them no one wants to deal with other peoples annoy kids at the store, going out to dinner... What have you. I am NOT going to unleash brats on the world.
Why don't all parents get this?? A lot of other people like my kids because I don't like other peoples kids and made sure my kids were not annoying. I know they aren't perfect but trust me, they will not embarrass me. Why do so many parents think their kid is so cute no one will mind??? It's annoying. No one finds your kid as cute as you do.
It took parenting. It took many trips to the bathroom for a quick pop on the butt, it took leaving baskets full of groceries and going home because they were annoying. But by 5 they knew "the look" they knew what "store behavior" meant, they knew if I asked if we needed a trip to the bathroom, they better shape up. I can take my kids to 5 stars restaurants and have dinner and normally get dessert for free because the kids were so amazing. But, you know what? They aren't that amazing. They are just behaved. They know what is expected of them. Why don't other parents get this??
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Comments
I know.. I'm shocked by what
I know.. I'm shocked by what parents let their kids get away with
I had expectations of
I had expectations of behavior for my son. DH had it with his kids. Unfortunately, SD lost most of her restrain being raised after 14 by BM. But, SS and BS have eaten at some of the finest restaurants and never been embarrassed by them. But, they always knew going in everytime to be on their best behavior. Now if only I could BS's pallet to expand beyond the norm at these restaurants. SS16 loves trying new things, so he is fun to take to these places.
You have to have expectations for children so they know what to do. This is learned behavior.
Thank you for this. I wish
Thank you for this. I wish more people parented their kids the way I was raised.
I wish more people parented.
I wish more people parented. My daughter has one friend at school being raised like her. The others are being "friended"
BRAVO OP!! Excellent
BRAVO OP!! Excellent post.
Since I've been a sm I friggin can't stand other people's children.
I used to really like kids, but I swear my sd's have ruined me.
As far as store behavior I also get tired of loud mommies who want to be cutsie with their babies. Like "hey look at my kid."
This is so true. I plan on
This is so true. I plan on not raising a selfish entitled spoiled brat!
Amen, Hallelujah, and what
Amen, Hallelujah, and what have you!! I do my best and work my hardest to keep my children from being unpleasant little brats...so the fact that my step kids weren't raised that way bugs me! Yes, why don't more parents learn to say one simple word...NO! Or why can't they teach better behavior! You hit the nail right on the head! My kids are no where near perfect..but they are well liked and get invited to do lots of things simply because they are pleasant to be around and they mind their manners...even at 13 and 9 i still make them say please and thank you to everyone!
Yep. I was very surprised to
Yep. I was very surprised to move in with DH and find out due to behavior SGD isn't allowed over at a lot of his friends houses.. But my daughter is welcome with open arms. DH use to feel bad for SGD because of this... I told him sorry, other people just don't want to deal with bad behavior or have their kids be bullied.
My kids have trama, both my kids have PTSD, my daughter has been in speech her whole life, my son is OCD/ADHD and on the autism spectrum. Guess what??? No one cares. There are no breaks in life because you have had it hard. You either stay stuck in the past as a victim or you move forward.
That is how I was raised as
That is how I was raised as well. Holy shit.....if my mother left a cart full of groceries because of the way one of us was acting.....I'll tell you what....someone would end up having to stand to eat dinner that evening.
Ditto to all that here. Last
Ditto to all that here.
Last month we flew from Australia to LA with a group of 95 people - about half were children. All from my dd's 12 and 8's dance school.
The family in front of us had 10yo twins and OMG they were a nightmare, in and out of the seats the entire flight, loud, annoying, jumping on the chairs, chair up/chair down over and over, hanging on the back of peoples seats every time they walked up the aisles, loud whinging and whining about the food etc and "I want I want I want" from 10yo's!! Just painful for the entire 14 hours.
My kids were quiet, well behaved - they watched movies, they played games, they did seat-to-seat chat with their friends, they got up quietly and respectfully without grabbing onto other seats etc.
At the end of the flight the father of the two in front said "when we fly home can we swap kids - I want yours they were so well behaved!"
Store behaviour - oh hell yes!! My kids know that I expect nothing less from them, and one look is all it takes.
The standards and excuses
The standards and excuses today blow my mind. Are we not suppose to bring teaching our children who to be when they are adults?? Like a test run but with parents to fall back on??
I get so tired of hearing well, their just kids !!! Well DUH and your just the parent ... Teach them!!!
I love you. LOL you are my
I love you. LOL you are my soul sister
"A lot of other people like my kids because I don't like other peoples kids and made sure my kids were not annoying. I know they aren't perfect but trust me, they will not embarrass me."
This is exactly the platform I parented from.
One of the first things I
One of the first things I told my husband when we met.. " I don't like other peoples children. They are all brats". Some are brats no matter what you do but most are just not parented.
My kids BF believes in fair. My kids will tell you I do not. I believe in equal. DD is older, had more responsibilities and gets in less trouble. DH and I have never disagreed about her. Ever. Her equal is she gets more rewards, has more freedoms and is left home alone for up to an hour. DS is 9. He has OCD/ADHD he is very impulsive. He will not be left alone, does not have web access on his kindle. Does not have freedoms. Must ask to do anything. It is equal to who he is. BS told me dad said it's not fair DD gets more rewards. I said , well it's not fair that I have to keep an eye on you, remind you to do everything and tell you to calm down. It would not be fair to DD if you were treated according to how she acts. Never heard it again.
Home is the place to be
Home is the place to be yourself. Silly, weird, loud... Whoever you are. While respecting others in the home. Stores, restaurants are not that place. Even adults act differently at home
Oh, no see I was talking
Oh, no see I was talking about raising them. Teaching them. The foundation was set before they turned 5. Now?? You embarrass me in public I will return the favor. But while the foundation was being set I would take them to the bathroom. And it has given me a tool to use forever. Anywhere we go if they start acting up, I just ask do we need to go to the bathroom?? Behavior changes right there.
I do believe in age appropiate behavior, rewards, consequences. Age does matter in what we expect of them. I can't expect my 9 yr old to act like my 11 yr old... On the flip side he can't expect the same rewards as the 11 yr old.
DD got an iPod shuffle then a DS. After 3 years of taking care of them she got an itouch. Did the same with DS. DD just got her first phone. She is in middle school now and I want her to have it. It is a slider. She will not get an upgrade until her plan gets one in 2 yrs. same will apply to DS.
They earn better. By that token, I have also had to take training in stages. Couldn't expect my 1 and 3 yr old to be perfect but they better not embarrass me. I never had a kid throw a temper tantrum. Ever. Not in public not at home. It just wasn't allowed. At 5 I figured training was complete. Now it just happens. Act like a fool, and I will treat you like one
My late DH and I took our
My late DH and I took our bios on vacations, went to many attractions, camping, everywhere and they always behaved very well. The worst parts of our trips were the drives and the picking on each other.
When DSO first got custody, he took the skids camping for a few days. They got kicked out of the campground bc YSS was bullying other kids at the playground....DSO claims he left bc the older siblings of the kids he was bullying starting picking on his baby YSS bc YSS was so little. SD told me they got kicked out bc of YSS, not bc of the other kids.
I can say, I wish our BM had
I can say, I wish our BM had taught her children "store behavior" because her kids have NO home training, and as hard as DH and I have tried.... It gets completely undone by her allowing them to do and act however they want-which is out of control- crawling in the floor and yelling in restaurants, temper tantrums, arguing, filth and never cleaning up... Awful. Thank you, from a SM to a BM- those of us who have to raise someone else's kids-appreciate the home training!