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SD is the Slowest Learner

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Sat, 09/06/2014 - 4:18pm

Full timer here. I am SOOOO sick and tired of SD11 living in my house full time and listening to me repeat my household rules over and over and STILL never understanding or following even the simplest of rules. BTW, I'm also trying to teach and instill lifelong values in this kid for God's sake.

Example: Turn your light off when you're not using it.
Example: Flush the toilet.
Example: Rinse your plate and put it in the dishwasher.
Example: Wash your hands before you eat.
Example: Don't waste expensive water that WE have to pay for.

So SD continuously has loads and loads of dirty clothes in her room. She will do a huge load of laundry and her floor will still be piled with dirty clothes. It's like the dirty clothes reproduce themselves. I believe she dumps all clothes in the same pile day after day. Both dirty and clean are mixed in one big pile on her floor.

So SD had gotten water all over the bathroom floor after her bath. The water was black because there's so much dust and dirt in there. I told her to clean it. She used her bath towel. The next day, I find her ONE towel running in the wash machine while all her dirty clothes are still laying on her bedroom floor. Why not put all the dirty clothes in the same load as the ONE towel to save expensive water and soap? Who washes one towel in a single wash cycle? What a waste! My own mom would have told me to make full use of an entire wash cycle.

I asked the question. I told SD the right thing to do would be to stop wasting other people's water/electricity bills and clean all the clothes at the same time as the one towel. The response....she chews on tongue and fingernails and just stares at me. DH's response....don't tell ME something I already know...Tell SD! Me: I AM telling SD!

Ugggghhhh

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 09/06/2014 - 4:44pm

Full timer here.

So sorry!

I don't really have any advice. My own DH thinks that leaving a ceiling fan on in a room that nobody is in, keeps the room cooler. Sigh.

So, even though I am not and never have been a full time SM, I feel your pain.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Sat, 09/06/2014 - 6:13pm

Full timer here as well. I too get sick of raising someone elses child, repeating my self. Full on broken record. I use to get 2 weeks in winter and 4 in summer off, but now that BM is most likely going to prison, no breaks for me. Sigh...

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 09/06/2014 - 6:19pm

Shall we petition for daycare in prison?

I am sorry, that would suck. So wonderful that these women can bear children but not bear any of the responsibility for them.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Sun, 09/07/2014 - 8:03am

I have had SD19 and SD13 full-time since January 2013. God help us all. Last year I really did the right thing with SD13, when she was 11 and 12. I made sure she did her homework, I held her accountble for missed assignments and bad grades, I made sure she showered every other night (ew), made sure teeth were brushed, cooked dinner.....

I have a FT day job and so does DH. I was running myself into the ground. My health started suffering and I just couldn't do it all by myself. I gave SD19 a wide berth in 2014 and she proceeded to keep my couch warm the entire summer. Too lazy to even drive to see her boyfriend and then yelled at ME because I never allow anyone to come visit.

WTF should I? No one was helping me around the house. No one was doing anything for themselves, and yes, I sounded like a broken record. If DH or I asked ANYTHING of SD19 she was a rude, snarky bitch who blatantly just said, "No," to our faces. SD13 can't remember to wipe her ass on her own, so I started asking her about THAT. She said she did. I replied that that's about all she did without prompting.

SD19 is at school now and SD13 is here, has just recently declared she wants to be a boy. She really wants to be an anime cartoon character, but we have her in therapy to deal with BM and her passing. It was never dealt with as much as I tried. There are a handful of chores on my new Monster Chore List that SD13 still hasn't done. She's been in her room for an hour on her iPod and that's fine, but when she's comes out in a bit for breakfast, she can leave the iPod in the kitchen until her chores are done. The Chore List has been in effect since last weekend, and we're all on there with things to do. It's something I will use as leverage when SD13 wants something or when her grades start to suck. "Nope, you can't do anything until your chores are done."

She just turned 13 and can't remember anything, is too distracted by the internet. She only has an iPod Touch, otherwise we'd have Parental Controls on it. Next year in high school she'll get a cell phone. I don't see why she needs one, she never talks to anyone, just texts and surfs the net. You can do that on an iPod Touch and it doesn't cost anything. DH says she'll get the cell, maybe she can set reminders on it. Oh wait she already does that...."Attack On Titans" movie in one year......I see it all on my MacBook. No reminders about real-life crap that is actually important.

SD13, get your head out of your ass already and be responsible. DH, you can chime in and help anytime.

~ Moon