It's worse than I remember... my previous blog today on this http://www.steptalk.org/node/196199
Source: Steptogether.com

Title: I'm a bio mom looking for some insight..

for some help in gaining some understanding from the point of view of a step parent or a bio parent who has resettled. I am a bio mom of a 7 year old boy who's dad has had sporadic and minimal involvement with the child.

Since my boy was a baby he blamed the sporadic involvement on his girlfriend and saying that she will kill him if she knows he is seeing him or having any contact with me or him. He met her after our son was born so there was no case of me being the other woman or anything like that.

At first I did not believe him and thought he was using her as a scapegoat to avoid a relationship with the child.

After a three and a half year absence he recently saw our son and during the visit, she called and gave him hell on the phone, leading me to conclude that he was not using her as a scapegoat.

According to him, she hates me with a green eyed vengeance and would kill me on sight. Those were his words nad also said that he would not trust her to leave our son alone with her.

While I don't want to get involved in the ins and outs of it as ultimately the decisions lie in his hands, but the consequences on our son lie in mine, as I will be putting the pieces back together again.

They live together and have done for some years now, but she is away a lot and during this time away he did a lot of relationship building with both me and my son and now that she has come back I sense a withdrawal and a change in patterns in terms of contact with my son.

Is there anything that I am missing as to what I can do to make this situation more workable and a lot more healthy? Or do I just sit back and accept it as it comes.

I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you.

Later she posts:

I have asked him and he said there is a long line of people telling him he should break up with her. His reasons he says for staying with her is that he needs her to pay half the rent and he can't afford to move but that he wants to extricate himself from his situation.

Bear in mind I have heard this five years ago.

At this point I am starting to think he is either very manipulative and full of it or it's some kind of Stockholm syndrome. Or the child is not that important to him.

She has never made any direct threat to me. We have never met or spoken.