i read a very interesting article on steptogether.com about 'disengaging' and now i'm a little confused. my 10-year-old sd doesn't treat me with disrespect but i also do most of the parenting at home. it wasn't always like this but now that we get sd every other weekend, i have taken on more of the mothering role (imagine that). i don't have any kids with dh yet but we're trying (unsuccessfully due to all this crazy bm drama). i know i need to step back and allow dh time to bond and parent, but at the same time, i feel bad. isn't my role to help sd so that she doesn't turn out crazy like bm??? but i also need to accept that she is not my child and that i cannot change her. oh, i am so confused. and i'm not a parent so this is all new! i printed out a list of a 'child's bill of rights' explaining that kids need boundaries and chores, which she doesn't have with us. so i am talking with dh about establishing these this weekend. i'm thinking the simple act of setting up boundaries should help us enormously...