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Random ?- Life insurance- would you give some $ to adult skids?

zerostepdrama's picture

I have a will.

DH does not. But he doesnt own any assets, have custody of any minor children, etc that he would really need one.

We both have life insurance plans. I have mine through my work. I have enough to cover funeral costs, pay off the house and then additional funds to go to my sister for the care of my BS (who is a minor). Also some extra funds for DH.

DH goes through an insurance broker. So costs are a little higher. He has enough to cover funeral, pay off the house and a little extra.

After we got married we updated policies. He mentioned in passing- pay for funeral, pay off house, get bills caught up and then ya know maybe like give each of my kids like $10,000.

4 kids= $40,000. Which that is about the amount that is extra- hypothetically speaking after paying for a funeral and paying off the house and bills.

But I am thinking- okay why do your adult kids (3/4 skids are adults) get $10,000? For what? And why? Just because?

Yet your wife (me) will pay off your debts and be left with nothing?

I am sure DH didnt really think about the numbers and think of how much would really be left over. I dont think he put a lot of thought into who should get the extra money and why. So I won't hold him accountable for being stupid. But I just hate how his defualt thinking goes right to his kids.

His kids should get money well just because....Kind of grinds my nerves...

Of course he has nothing in a will and I am the beneficary of the insurance policy so I could do whatever I want with the extra money. }:)

Not sure why I was thinking about this recently (maybe all the Kasey Kasem stories?) but its something I definetly plan on discussing in more detail.

Ya know since he told me what to do with the extra money I would feel that I would have to honor that....

Comments

overworkedmom's picture

I personally feel that the only time any money should go to adult children is if you are the last parent to go. Otherwise all funds go to the spouse.

Disneyfan's picture

DF has told me more than once that he wants me to split his policy in half. 50% is to go to me. The other half is to cove burial expenses, debts and what is left is to be split between SS2 3 and SDs17,9&7. I will respect his wishes.

I have made it clear to DF, my mom and my sister that I intend for the vast majority of what I have to go to my son22. I did not work and sacrifice all these years for pensions,401Ks, insurance money...to end up going to my SKs. That will happen if I leave most of it to DF. Another reason I don't want to leave most of it to DF is because he made the choice not to make the sacrifices I made.

Each time I read threads like this here, I think it's best to never get married.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

My DH has minor children and the CO order states that he must have a policy that leaves at least $75 to them. He has a 150K policy that is split 50/50 between me and his kids. They are minor children and I'm ok with this. After they are not minors then it will be changed to be all me. I have another small policy on him in which I am the sole beneficiary.

My policy has him as the sole beneficiary. But I've never thought about the skids. My intent would be for money from my death to be used to support my DH and my DS3. I'm wondering if I should set up a trust for money to go into for my son? Money to pay for college or something.

zerostepdrama's picture

None of my money will be going to skids-zip, zero, zilch. I guess I am leaving some money to DH and if he ends up giving some to the skids, well I will be dead and nothing I can do about it. LOL.

I have made sure that my BS is covered.

DH doesnt even have a will. Honestly I could do whatever I want with the life insurance money. Him telling me to give money to the skids was just in passing and without a lot of thought and was a discussion between us.

If I was really evil...I would just keep all the extra....LOL... No not really, but I will be damned if I paid off all the bills and then just handed the left over to the skids...

Yeah we definetly need to talk about this.....

hereiam's picture

No, his adult daughters will not see a dime.

That money is for me, to help make up for his lost income should something happen to him. His daughters live without money from him now, they will continue to do so after he dies.

zerostepdrama's picture

This is what I was kind of thinking. Thankfully my DH isnt giving his kids money. Maybe a little here and there. So its not like he is supporting them and they rely on money from him to survive. So why are they going to get money in the event of his death? It's not like they have done anything for him....

Totalybogus's picture

I have a separate policy for my adult kids. If I die before my husband, he gets everything, except the policy for my girls. If we die at the same time, all of our assets get divided between his 2 daughters and mine. He has a separate policy for his daughters as well.

twopines's picture

I can't imagine why I would just give skids any part of life insurance money that goes to me.

twopines's picture

If my husband truly wants to leave his kids some money he knows how to take out a separate policy for them. His life insurance is meant to replace his income after he dies, not just give away to adult kids who have their own household income. I've already been through the dead husband thing. When you are alone and assessing your financial situation, you may not feel as bound to honor a request to just give away money that is meant for you.

moeilijk's picture

Zero, my dad did that. Wrote his will to set everything up so one person got everything. Then told that one person to do xyz with the money.

All he was doing was avoiding dealing with the problems he had in his relationships with others. If he really wanted money to go to xyz, he could have written his will that way. He was just passing the buck to someone else.

So don't even listen to what your DH says. If he means it, he'll take care of it... not leave it to you to recall AND act upon some off-the-cuff comment said in passing years before.

misSTEP's picture

I highly doubt that my DH would want any of the insurance money to go to his kids. Not after they can't even be bothered to take 5 seconds to send him a TEXT on Father's Day!

Depending on my mood at the time (probably lousy, given I just lost my life partner), I might give SS a small bit and set up a small trust for SD's two kids.

We (actually ME) already were instrumental in SD getting a good chunk of cash just for freaking out enough that they kept her overnight for "observation" when we were rear ended. That is my/our contribution to her. I explained to her what I thought she should do with it. If she went out and blew it (as I figure she did), that is on her.

kathc's picture

Mine will get nothing. Not a cent. Not that I am trying to punish them but I don't see how they "deserve" money just because we die? Whatever I have goes to charities I've chosen. End of story.