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The funny thing about summer and Step Life

step off already's picture

We have SMs that want their skids gone
we have BMs who don't want to send their bios away
we have NCPs that are "declining" visitation
we have skids that don't want to go to the NCPs
We have BMs who are banking on their break

... no one seems to be happy.

Why must we have these "special summer schedules"

Now, don't get me wrong. I will repeat this ALL FRICKEN DAY LONG: "SS14, its good for your to spend time with your BM. That is an important relationship in your life. PLUS its ordered by the judge, so we have to stick to it!"

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step off already's picture

I get that it depends and that each parent/ family would like to have some extended time with the child during the summer... but me thinks that if a mother lives nearby and does not want to participate in the child's life during the school year, me thinks she will not be happy about having to take care of this "burden" during the summer.

But I'm projecting.

BM is a POS. ExH and I just keep our standard schedule and accomodate each other for vacations, long weekend, camp, whatever - its the difference between non-crazy people and crazy people.

step off already's picture

Life would be so much better if our BM would just get back out of the picture. But she wanted to play mommy and prove herself for about two years... let's see it's been just about two years exactly since DH got the RO against her... but I digress....

She's losing steam, but it is D.R.A.M.A. in the meantime.

SMto3's picture

No such luck for me. BM1 got herself into supervised visitation once weekly for 45 minutes until September. I'll tell you one thing though, SS9 is clean and a lot more emotionally healthy. He doesn't come seesawing through the door with dirty clothes that fit too small from his weekend with her. And I don't have to hear about what a "Great Mom!" she is every week (the very same who owes over 20K at this point in CS and is trying everything in her power to avoid this). So little victories in life. Here's to your SS14 going with Mom for the summer, though. Definitely blame it on the CO.

step off already's picture

As it should be. And still... the rest of the family in that home is usually stressed by the visitor that is expecting to be entertained for their 1, 2, 3, 4 week visit.

step off already's picture

Hey, I relish and adore the summer, when I actually get a break from SS14 for more than 2 days. It gives my Dh some time off and mostly gives me a break.

Unfortuntately,our BM is trying to put a kabosh to her summer visits that she "had to have... because she thinks her son needs BOTH parents" just last year.

I like to stick to the court order when we deal with the crazy BM.

Tuff Noogies's picture

thank goodness we never had a summer schedule, even before dh got full custody. the previous order is pretty much the same as the current one - each parent *may* get a full week during summer break with (i forget how much) prior notice.

holidays were and are still split or alternating. no surprises.

doesnt really matter either way, dumbass has never taken them on a vacation anyway, and she does not excercise her visitation....

but i think just keep to the regular schedule would be more beneficial for CO's, unless there's significant distance between parents...

hereiam's picture

We did EOWE all year long. No extended summer stays, no spring break visitation or week long holiday visitation. Sometimes DH would take some of days off in the summer and we would get SD for more than a weekend but that was it.

SD is 23 so I had not thought about the divorce decree for a long time but in reviewing it a couple of weeks ago (when this subject came up on here), turns out DH was not given any extended visitation in the summer or any other time.

Disneyfan's picture

I love DF's summer schedule. They drop the EOWE visits in June. He picks the girls up on June 28 and returns them on July 31. They stay with their mom all of August. They resume the EOWE visits the weekend after Labor Day.

This schedule allows both parents plenty of time to vacation with the kids. Neither parent has to worry about planning around the other parent.

It also allows us a chance to enjoy an adult only summer vacation.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

We were getting the skids EOWE, plus every Wed and their non-Fridays for a few hours. That all changed when my DH took a new position. It's pretty much EOWE, NO more Wednesdays and rarely the non-Friday. After the crap we've had to deal with lately, I'm SO thankful!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I hear you. SS12 is turning into his BM with the lying and sneaking. I have to be careful to not let my loathing show... :sick: