Slightly OT - men, moodiness and vacation
I just needed to vent this morning and see if anyone else suffers the same thing and how you get through it. I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel with my 4year relationship because of it.
Whenever my BF feels like he has to do something for me, or unless I suggest something that he doesn't want to do or isn't his idea, he gets moody about it and acts like the world is crashing down around him. I try to tell him that couples are supposed to do things for each other and not act miserable about it because they want to make the other happy. I have never had a problem with doing things for BF and I never get upset about it because I want to make him happy. This has been ongoing for quite some time, whether it it something I ask him to do for me around my house, like a repair or if I suggest that we go somewhere that he doesn't want to. He'll pout until he gets there (if I don't go without him) and then realize it wasn't so bad after all. However if god forbid,he has a suggestion about something, I better not say anything!
So we've been planning a vacation. For the last 4 years, I have been telling him that I am a big cruise fan as I absolutely live for the water which is where I am happy and haven't been on a cruise in 7 years. So, now he feels that he has to take me on a cruise to make me happy but all he has been doing is complaining and acting miserable! Even us trying to plan the vacation is hard because whenever he has to actually get online to look, he gets pissy. He talks about me being picky about wanting a balcony cabin but yet he only wants to be on certain decks and in a certain area of the ship. So, even though I am off work for vacation in 3 weeks, he hasn't even booked the vacation yet because of he doesn't want to go. Now, in my mind, it's a flippin vacation! Be happy! Enjoy the week off and the fact that we are going away together to spend an enjoyable week on a ship, exploring islands and just relaxing! I have never in my life met someone that was so miserable about taking a vacation! Only because it isn't his idea and he would rather be off on a windsurfing vacation somewhere, which I agreed to go with him somewhere next year to do just that even though that isn't my cup of tea and would require me sitting alone all day every day while he was out on the water.
I know the easy out would be to just say I will go with someone else or by myself, but we're supposed to be a couple that does things together and can go away and enjoy a week together as we don't spend much time together as it is since we live separately. I will wind up asking my mom if she wants go if he doesn't book it soon, but it just pisses me off that he just can't be happy to do something with and for me.
Does anyone else's SO get like this? How do you deal with the moodiness and aggravation? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to compromise on a vacation?
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oh yes....I think my DH is an
oh yes....I think my DH is an 8 year old in disguise. When it's something he wants to do he is super motivated, but if it's something I want to do and he doesn't, my god, it's like pulling teeth. I have bad seasonal allergies and he takes care of cutting the lawn. The backyard was so embarrassing that my uncle shamed him about it. I could tell it bothered him, but it was true. He FINALLY got around to it last weekend (on our once-monthly visit with sd15) and you would have thought he cured cancer by the way he went on and on about how good the yard looked afterward. It looked great and I told him so. But he, without exaggeration, pulled me to the window 3 times to look at the backyard. He wanted constant praise for something he was supposed to take care of a month earlier. But of course if he needs me to do something for him, he expects it to be done yesterday. Now I just say, 'I'll be happy to do that for you. When did you plan to *insert job here*? Sometimes it works, sometimes I get attitude. If I get attitude I remind him that when you ask someone to do something for you, it's best not to piss them off 5 seconds later.
Good luck with your vacation! If I were you I would offer him an out and take a girlfriend!
I had this ONCE with my DH.
I had this ONCE with my DH. I wanted a sun vacation, he said he doesn't like those. I said, ok, I'll go by myself.
He stared, and said, "No, I want to go with you!"
He went, was slightly bored, I won't insist all vacations are my preferred vacations... but some will be. I'm slightly bored during some of his favourite vacays too.
During the vacay I did have to remind him that it was my vacay and I just wanted to sit around lol! It was his CHOICE to come.
My DH is like this too. You
My DH is like this too. You have to drag him kicking and screaming, to have a good time, and then he has the best time of anyone??? and his child does the same, dur. After they have been a place or done a thing once, it is usually then on the approved list and they will do it again. But initially it is like you are punishing them, when you are killing yourself to do something very nice to them.
All I can think is that, some people are not used to getting to go on vacation. I grew up traveling, even if just to family, and love to get away, but their families didn't even do that, due to money or sad to say just stubbornness of some kind?? He has an 90 year old aunt who lives within 200 miles of the coast here, but has never seen the ocean???? and neither has SD's BF28 so we are remedying that this summer, that is the least I can do for anyone I care about!!!
So I would do it anyway, and one day, even it if is silently, they will thank you for broadening their horizons. So crazy but no you are not alone :(!!!!!