Survived another Skid Weekend Snafu (long)
Memorial Day: DH calls skids and asks them if they want to go to our cabin this weekend. SS17 says yes he totally wants to go; SS12 said yes as well.
DH developed a plan with SS17, since SS17 had to work on Sunday. They decide that SS17 and SS12 will meet at DH’s work and we’ll leave from there. SS17 will follow DH so he can leave Saturday night to be home for work on Sunday. DH and I tell SS17 we’ll pay for SS17’s gas.
Tuesday – Friday: DH and I work our butts off getting everything ready to go to the cabin plus take care of all the everyday stuff here at home. DH even made extra sections for our dock. Thursday night we load the truck up. DH is tired and crabby and basically a bear all week because he’s trying to do too much to make the weekend as fun as possible.
I took Friday afternoon off in order to run home pick-up the dogs and cooler and then drive to DH work to meet with DH and Skids in order to get an earlier start. When I got to DH work, DH is waiting for me, the Skids haven’t arrived.
DH gets a call, he looks angry. DH hangs up and proceeds to tell me that SS17 forgot he told someone he would work for them on Saturday so he won’t be able to go with us and is just going to drop off SS12.
DH asks me what we should do. I know better than to step into that one. I told him the decision was his and that I would be fine with whatever he decided. (But I'm thinking this is what happens when the children run the show.)
SS17 arrives with SS12. SS17 says he’s sorry and that he’ll be working Saturday and Sunday. I can see DH is seething but he tells SS17 that work is important and that there’s food at our house and he’s welcome to stay there. SS17 says that’s okay but he’ll stay at BM’s. DH calls BM to make sure it’s okay (she was fine with it).
DH then asks SS12 if he wants to go to the cabin or stay home. (Seriously HD ?!?) SS12 wants to go to the cabin. DH tells SS17 to be at our house for dinner Sunday night after he gets done with work. SS17 says okay and takes off. We head up to the cabin.
Sunday – We get home about 3 pm , SS17 walks through the door at 6 pm, DH asks him how work was and SS17 says he didn’t have to work today – SS17 “forgot” and work reminded him on Saturday before he left that he was off Sunday. (Funny SS17 didn't mention this to DH when DH called him Saturday night.) DH asked SS17 what he did with his day off. SS17 says he went to look at houses with BM and her SO. SS17 leaves the room and DH goes from 0 to pissed in a second. DH is angry at SS17’s thoughtlessness.
Now I’d love tell DH that this is what happens when you cater to children. SS17, besides being a teenager, is a self-centered COD. SS17 is used to doing what he wants to do, when he wants to do it, he could care less that DH worked his butt off trying to plan a perfect weekend.
My gut is telling me that SS17 decided that house hunting with BM was way more important than going to the cabin with DH and decided to ditch DH. I overheard SS17 telling SS12 last night about the houses they looked at and how he (SS17) was helping BM and her SO choose a house and that SS12 was going to get a crappy room. A red flag for me was SS17 “forgetting” he switched work days. In the past SS17 has always called DH to ask if it’s okay to switch days before he does it. It’s just weird that he wouldn’t remember this time.
~BettyRay
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Comments
In future DH should plan the
In future DH should plan the perfect weekend for you and SS12. Invite SS17 and if he bails he bails and misses out. Why put all your energy into a child that calls the shots? So he wants to house hunt with his mother. Maybe he just doesn't LIKE going out to the cabin anymore.
I had the same problem with DH. Every time we went out to dinner he asked "I think I will see if D and B want to come." In the end I said "If you want to have dinner with your sons, invite them. But I feel my girl parts withering and dying due to the lack of attention to just me. So if you want to invite them, fine. Have fun. But if you want to have dinner with me and reap the rewards afterwards... well you know what to do."
Why plan everything around ungrateful kids? He should be laying down the groundwork for a wonderful future with you. If the kids come along for the ride, awesome. But he can have fun without SS17. It isn't illegal you know.
I totally agree with your self centred COD comment. We had that with OSS> I never let my jkids pull that crap. And I told DH "This is what you get for trusting kids. They throw it all back at you. They are selfish beasts by nature."
I totally agree with you
I totally agree with you oneoffour.
My DH isn't ready to hear what SS17's actions are telling him.
The thing is we had a fun time without SS17. DH has a hard time accepting that SS17 is growing into a selfish person. I told DH when he brought the snafu up again last night, "SS17 is old enough to decide what he wants to do. If he doesn't want to go to the cabin, that's fine. But SS17 needs to learn to tell us what he's going to do instead of jerking everyone's chain."
~BettyRay