Even After All This Time
DH had to take the car in for maintenance early Saturday morning. SS14 was asleep when DH left.
When SS14 got up I asked him if he was hungry. He said no. Okay, fine. Meanwhile DH is texting on and off that the garage is way behind and he’ll be awhile. It is what it is, I let SS14 know and told him there were Eggos and Pop Tarts if he’s hungry.
An hour later I asked SS14 again what he’d like for breakfast – I listed all stuff we had and what I could make for him, I’m in a good mood and trying to be nice. SS14 turns to me and says again I’m not hungry. All right, so I did my own thing and made myself some breakfast.
DH didn’t get home till noon. SS14 ran to get dressed when he heard DH pull in the driveway. SS14 had been lounging in his PJs watching Netflix.
DH is in a bad mood. He asks me what SS14 had for breakfast. I say nothing, he wasn’t hungry. DH goes into the living room and asks SS14 if he’s hungry. SS14 says yes, starving, he’d like bacon and pancakes. DH comes back into the kitchen and goes off on me for not making him breakfast.
I stop DH and tell him that that’s on SS14 as I asked him a number of times if he was hungry and he said that he wasn’t. SS14 is also 14 years old and old enough to fend for himself. I let it go at that and DH makes breakfast for us.
SS14 has been doing this for the past 10+ years. SS14 won’t eat unless Da-Da cooks for him. I don’t know why this is such a shock for DH.
Fast forward to Sunday. DH tells me he’s sorry he yelled at me about not making breakfast for SS14. DH says he was mad at SS14 for not eating. I told DH there’s a simple solution – stop coddling SS14. He should have told SS14 to make himself something. DH agreed with me but I don’t think he’ll ever follow through.
~BettyRay
- BettyRay's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Yes! I never ask any longer.
Yes! I never ask any longer. Both my SDs, almost 10 and 12 know where the food is and how to prep. DP was making my eye rolls this weekend with his contact asking SDs if they were hungry then making anything they wanted then wondering why he was running so late.
He even asked me did SD(10) have lunch.
Um, no, she hasn't come up from her room DP.
...I don't cater.
Isn't Saturdays FEND FOR
Isn't Saturdays FEND FOR YOURSELF DAY??? What happened to cereal and cartoons (follwed by American Bandstand and Soul Train
)on Saturday mornings????
Sir Graves was a staple in my
Sir Graves was a staple in my house.
Along with American Bandstand and Sooooooooulllllll Train!!
The only way this white girl learned to dance was the Train!!
No words of advice, just
No words of advice, just commiseration. 2 of my 3 step kids are exactly like this. If I cook it, they're not hungry. If I offer, no sorry. It's to the point where if I cook, I tell DH to pretend he did. He knocks on their door, says he cooked dinner and they're all in. Food I made, mind you.
The really frustrating part, my 2 boys are happy to eat no matter who cooks it.
Maybe it's some weird belief they have that by eating my food, they're betraying their mom?
No words of advice, just
No words of advice, just commiseration. 2 of my 3 step kids are exactly like this. If I cook it, they're not hungry. If I offer, no sorry. It's to the point where if I cook, I tell DH to pretend he did. He knocks on their door, says he cooked dinner and they're all in. Food I made, mind you.
The really frustrating part, my 2 boys are happy to eat no matter who cooks it.
Maybe it's some weird belief they have that by eating my food, they're betraying their mom?
I agree. On the weekends I
I agree. On the weekends I put out like 8 boxes of cereal and a bunch of bowls. They wake up at different times, so they figure it out.
You're doing too much friend!
A 14 year old needs an adult
:jawdrop: A 14 year old needs an adult to make them food? I am shocked speechless.
Why are you asking a 14 year
Why are you asking a 14 year old if he's hungry and what you can make for him? He is 14...he can feed himself.
So what? Is it because you
So what? Is it because you only offered Eggos or Pop Tarts and King Tut wanted a 3 course meal? Is poopsie too scared to say to you,"well I really wanted some eggs and bacon"?
...... and I've gotta give my DH props here.... skids were able to make their own damn scrambled eggs at about 10 years old. It's really not THAT difficult.
I would not do anything for
I would not do anything for step kid. He obviously is not appreciative of what you do. If you quit doing things or trying to do things for him, you remove yourself from the situation to get blamed for something. I realized I was no longer a target once I stepped back. It's not always easy to step back, but it is so rewarding once you "free" yourself.
Thanks for the responses. I
Thanks for the responses.
I do agree that SS14 is more than old enough to fend for himself.
I was in a good mood Saturday and was trying to do something nice for SS14. I'll have to remind myself not to do that again.
DH has always made a big deal about cooking for the boys when they are with us. That is why DH does all the cooking - because I refuse to be a short order cook.
~BettyRay
I hear you. I had enough
I hear you. I had enough catering to the many things SS7 will only eat at certain people houses. One moment the kid loves how I make eggs and gobbles them up. After one night at MIL he no longer eats the eggs I make and pretends to gag and throw up. Being nice always backfires somehow.