After listening to DH be proud of SD18 and graduation last week and listening about BM sending her off to England to celebrate graduation with a girlfriend, I know the day is coming when BM is done dealing with this kid.

DH was asked to take SD to freshman orientation at the Party college. Thankfully, he said no after I pointed out that the one paying should go and that was not him. Why ask the one person that you have not included in anything for the last 4 years. Not a doctor appt., therapy, suicide attempt, prom, track meets, nothing. It doesn't make sense.

I think BM is slowly disengaging here. I wonder if it was the car being totaled, the new baby in the house (Her SD's bi-racial, out of wedlock child) or the barely passing HS or seeing the tuition bill (12K)for the first time for SD18 college education. But, something tells me that she is just throwing money at the problem and waiting for her to go away. Sending her to England is a mistake, since she is not medicated properly and still having anger issues and manic episodes. Something will happen there since they are staying at a B&B in the countryside of England. I watched her behavior on our family vacation and that was with DH to filter. This is a bad idea.

Since I know the day is coming for that conversation again, where he asks to let her back into our lives and possibly our home when she flunks out or BM throws her out. I sat down and came up with my list of expectations. I am nothing if not prepared. I let my guard down last time and let her back in for Christmas. Nothing like getting me while I am in the glow of a fun family vacation. :O

My list:

Must be enrolled at CC – Full time
2. Must have a part time job – 20 Hours a week
3. Pay her own car insurance and gas (separate policy)
4. No friends over
5. Curfew 11:00 PM weekdays and 12:00 PM weekends
6. No belly button ring and no nose ring. If she doesn’t remove belly button, it must be covered at all times in our presence.
7. She will have at least two chores TBD
8. She must apologize and acknowledge what she did to us on vacation 2013
9. No Tattoos – If she has them, they will be removed. (I will even pay for it)
10. Her room will be kept clean and an open door policy

I know she can not live by these rules, so she will not come back here. But, I know my husband and I know how he is, if I lay it out factually, he will back down. It can not be about emotion, it has to be about facts and what I expect. Nothing is gray with her, it has to be black and white for me to even consider her coming back.

On another note, SS15 saw his mom on Monday. First time in 8 weeks. She bought him the new Galaxy S5 and his grandma who was in town for SD graduation was with gave him 40 for his birthday. She hasn't seen him in at least a year. And even then, never gives him anything. BM's mom is white trash, broke. They are normally gone for an hour when they go out. This was 4 hours. I am sure it was switching the phone. BM pays his phone. Not sure why she still does, but I am sure it is so she can be a little involved and tell herself that it is being a good mom. I told DH after he got home, that I don't like it, since she comes across as this awesome mom and makes it look like she is a mom. I am the one that does everything for the kid. Pick him up, take his books to school when he forgets, ortho appt. everything. I hate this woman. I just want him to get his license so he can drive and I never have to have her anywhere near our house. She is supposed to be moving to the next town over. It can not happen soon enough.