Why do I feel uneasy about this?
Before you read on, please not that I fully understand that everyone expresses their affection differently. I am not insinuating anything or judging. I am seeking opinion and assurance.
My husband and step daughter exchange long lingering looks at each other & into each other's eyes which make me feel uneasy as the looks seem almost intimate. This only occurs at home and not in the company of other family members or friends. He explains that the look is one of regard, however, it seems unfamiliar to me because I have not witnessed such an exchange between friends & their fathers - or directly with my father (he''d have a proud smile).
Like I say, it's unfamiliar - I am not passing judgement. Honest opinion will do - even if it is to say I am worrying about nothing.
- -Mimi-'s blog
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Comments
Thank you, I no longer feel
Thank you, I no longer feel crazy for posting re this
Thank you for your response,
Thank you for your response, it seems that this is a common issue with girls and their fathers. I'm surprised. I hope that things improve for you in the future and hold a similar hope for myself. Of course, I know that it requires work!
Thank you for your response,
Thank you for your response, how do I find / read this post? Also,what are your ways of coping with this scenario of being pitted one against the other?
Thank fully, I've been
Thank fully, I've been blessed to find really great advice across these two posts to help me deal with it. I'm so grateful.
Eureka moment, I hadn't even
Eureka moment, I hadn't even thought of I this. Thank you
Thank you for taking the time
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am sorry to hear of your situation & wonder what your story is? Do you have ways of dealing with things that at least keep you happy / keep you from feeling alone?
Well, I do occasionally
Well, I do occasionally exchange lingering looks with my children (7,4 and 2) during which I'm thinking how much I love them. Sometimes we do have these soppy moment of pride and closeness as parents. However, in the context of some of your YSD's other behaviour it does seem as though she is in competition for her fathers affections, and because of her age and the fact that she feels his partner is her main rival she is trying to compete as a love rival using the behaviour she associates with romance and trying to get a boys attention. She may also be practicing her burgeoning sexual identity with him and looking for some kind of validation. In which case these lingering looks may mean one thing to him and another thing to her.
I completely agree. Couldn't
I completely agree. Couldn't have put it any better myself. I look back to childhood and find this behaviour so alien. It's not that I'm better than her, it's that I cannot understand how some children develop a healthy psyche and others struggle in THIS way. It seems that this is such a rare issue?