Ugh, where to start. I had this mostly typed up yesterday on my tablet, then Firefox updated and I lost everything!

While SS20 was in jail, we had a nice month of peace. DH wasn't being too pissy, and we MOSTLY got along. The closer it got to the court date (last Thursday), the bitchier he became!

Court for SS- he took another plea agreement. Petit Theft amended to Aiding a Misdemeanor. The public defender told him that if he took a plea agreement, he would get a probation violation charge. If he went to trial to plead his innocence, the 33 days he just spent in jail would not be credited. He'd be back at square one if he got convicted. He decided to take the plea agreement and be done with everything.

He got out of jail that same day and DH has been catering to his every need since. He'll be gone for hours, with no word or communication to me of when he'll be home or anything. Saturday he had to take SS to Walmart to get his phone replaced because when SS got busted for the Petit Theft, he had his phone in his hand and it fell to the ground and broke. Well he just so happened to get busted at Walmart too, so he technically wasn't supposed to go in to any Walmart in the valley. But DH figured if he went with him, it would be fine. DH was gone 4 hours, bought SS lunch and the cherry on top- PAID TO HAVE SS's PHONE TURNED BACK ON AND PAID FOR A MONTH OF SERVICE.

Oh I was so livid when I saw the $67 charge. So when DH got home, I asked him what he bought at Walmart and he told me it was for SS's phone. Before we could talk about it, he said he had to go down the street to a house that SS had been staying at, to get a bike to fix up for SS. When he got back, I was in the garage waiting for him.

Told him his shitty attitude better stop, he needs to figure out what is going to make him happy so he's not so bitchy at home. DD11 and I walk on eggshells, worrying about pissing him off even more.

Also told him how furious I was that he would pay for SS's phone after we talked about it last time, that we weren't helping him monetarily at all. That I was pissed that he would go do it behind my back without even talking to me. He told me he didn't think he had to ask permission to spend OUR money. Told him when it was something we had previously agreed on NOT doing, then yes he does have to talk to me before doing it down the road. If he wants to continue to help SS pay for shit, we were getting separate bank accounts. I would not be spending my hard earned money on his POS son who obviously can't stay out of trouble!

Also told him he needs to communicate better with me. When he's in "Rescue SS" mode, he doesn't talk to me, doesn't tell me how long he's going to be gone, I have no idea when to expect him home and I was tired of waiting around for him.

Case in point- Saturday DD had a soccer game early in the morning. DH went with me for most of it but had to leave before it was over because he had to go to work for a few hours. After the game, DD and I had to find her some shoes for soccer and then we went home. I figured DH would be home soon so DD and I didn't eat lunch, we were going to wait for DH to get home. Hours laters, DH texted me that he had picked SS up and they were trying to find a Walmart that could exchange SS's phone for him, apparently they were getting the run around. I asked DH how long he'd been doing that, he said "little over an hour". Didn't hear from him again until he got home 3 hours later. DD and I still had not had lunch, but DH had taken SS to get lunch. Nice huh?

Monday, DH was off work and SS needed him to play taxi again. DH doesn't even hesitate, says he was planning on taking SS to spend time with SD (since SS had to be out of the shelter for the day). Off DH goes. Apparently SD was at work so they went to see her and she was just getting off work so DH buys both SS and SD lunch, and a snack for himself. Glad we have so much money to just be throwing around DH.

Back to me confronting him on Saturday- He threw it in my face that it was my fault that SS was living in a shelter, because I didn't want him here. Damn right I don't want a drug addict living in my house. DH then informs me that he and SS had a heart to heart talk and he told his dad they honestly weren't his drugs. A friend had been staying with him and they were his. Of course he's telling the truth right??? OMFG DH, I'm disappointed in you! DH said that the last time SS lived with us, I didn't want him here. I told him to stop putting words in to my mouth, I never said that. What I didn't like was constantly getting disrespected and DH did nothing to put a stop to it. And I refuse to allow ANYONE to disrespect me in my own home! So no, I don't ever want him in my home again. If DH doesn't like that, he can move out and SS can live with him. Then he starts saying "well I don't want to have to change my lifestyle and choices in life to suit SS since he's on probation". Oh so it's not all my fault? Make up your mind DH, I won't be your scapegoat! And make SS own up for his mistakes, it's his own fault he's living in a shelter, not mine!

Last night on the Idaho Repository site, we found that a bench warrant for probation violation has been requested...not issued yet but requested. DH starts freaking out saying "this is exactly what SS was worried about". Well no shit DH, of course he was, because even I heard the public defender say it would be coming if SS took the plea deal. This isn't something that should be a complete surprise to anyone. DH tells SS about it, and SS calls DH asking DH to come get his personal items so that he has minimal personal belongings on him when he gets arrested this time. DH says he'll be right over. I ask DH why he didn't try to calm him down, tell him it hasn't been issued yet, that it could be days before they know he's at the shelter...DH's response "I tried". Uhm really, cuz all I heard you say was "be right there".

Keep in mind, this all went down right before dinner time. When DH gets home an hour and a half later, I tell him he's lucky that DD and I were still there, I considered taking her out to dinner since we didn't know how long DH would be gone. If he can take his kids out to eat all the time (he took SD out to dinner on Valentine's while I drove DD to her dad- 2 hours each way), I guess I can too. It's been a while since DD and I did anything just the 2 of us. I need to change that and spend more 1 on 1 time with her alone. He didn't like my answer but I'm done. I'm done putting up with him catering to his poor widdle kiddos, who need their daddy so much!