I love Dr. Drew and always have. I used to listen to Love Lines way back when and learned so much from him. Now I've found his Dr. Drew Podcast and some of the things he talks about a LOT seem to be exactly what we deal with in Step Life:

1) when children have "trauma" in their lives (and this could be anything from an abusive parent to arguing parents to a divorce in the family, or even a big move away from family) this can mess with their brain chemistry and they don't learn how to regulate their emotions

2) if they fail to "attach" to the mother / or rather the mother fails at "attaching" with the baby, as the child grows they have fear of abandonment, trouble trusting, inability to remain close

3) children learn how to self regulate from their mothers. Mothers let them know when their emotions are OK, when they are safe, when they are overreacting, when they should be scared, etc, etc. This helps the child learn what emotions are, what level they should be, and on and on.

4) He also talks about how when a parent leaves a child/baby that the way that the two reunite, has a lot to do with how the child learns to take seperation and attachment in general.

He also talks a lot about addiction, narcissism, and other disorders and some of the root causes including genetics and circumstances.

I think of SSstb14 ALL the time and his crazy BM who left him when he was 5. I think about how DH tells me she would pop in occasionally for an hour or two, often drunk, and then cry to SS about how much she loved him and SS would cry and then BM would leave for another 6 months. This went on for a full 7 years until I put a stop to it and helped DH understand how damaging this was to SS.

Anywhoo... I just love Dr. Drew.

Anyone else listen? I just LOVE him and learn so much.