The key here is that DH MUST continue to act disappointed in her! That was always my worst punishment. lol. My DD too.

I hated it when my parents were upset/disappointed in me. He needs to NOT act happy around her for at least a few weeks. He needs to act VERY VERY disappointed. He does not need to be the dad that is going to be disappointed for one day and then joking and cutting up with her the next day.

His continued disappointment will be her worst punishment.

Had a similar incident with SD13 but was much worse and way more inappropriate. Grounded from everything! Phone, computer, and basically any access from the outside world.
Her punishment was more of a long standing one where we had to change the rules. She is now not allowed to have her phone unless she is sitting next to one of us. When she comes in the door her phone goes on the shelf. And that's where it stays unless she asks permission to use it for a minute, and she is only allowed if she absolutely needs it. Her phone is NEVER allowed in her bedroom with her. She is no longer allowed to have a password on her phone, and she knows that we will spot check the phone whenever the hell we feel like it.
As far as I'm concerned, your SD has lost all trust and needs to gain it back. Making her clean the bathroom for a week isn't going to teach her any sort of lesson about what she did. If all I had to do was clean a bathroom every time I messed up, or to be able to do something I wanted with minimal consequence then hand me the toilet brush! LOL

I agree with the above, if you don't have her full time, then she can't be trusted to be home alone at all.

Honestly I would be pretty impressed that the prude comment suggests she is being responsible and not allowing herself to be pushed into underage sex. So I would focus on reinforcing that. If I were her Dad I would have a heart to heart and say he is proud of her for respecting herself and not falling for the 'prude' tactic, and use it as an opening to talk about relationships and trust. And then end by making it clear that it is was wrong to break the rule and wrong to lie about it so there needs to be a consequence for that. Confiscating the phone for 2 weeks and extra chores during that period would seem a reasonable consequence to me.

I think this one should be handled with a long talk. Tell her how disappointed you are but also tell her you are proud of her for not giving in. Tell her that is the only reason that she isn't losing privileges. Even with breaking #8, she didn't give in. I think I would be thrilled at that fact alone.

If part of the punishment is to "scare this kid into thinking twice about deceiving us again" I would suggest removing her bedroom door for whatever time feels appropriate. A week or two without a private life behind her closed bedroom door may remind her that her private life behind a closed bedroom door is earned through trustworthy behavior.

Personally I vote for the talk from DH telling her how much he cares about her safety and confiscating the phone for a couple of weeks.

Who was filming? The vid was of SD and bf, who was filming and why?

Perhaps a convo about how selfies, videos, and texts can be uploaded to net where they stay there FOREVER.

My mom would've beat my ass and grounded me forever. That would make me learn my lesson! No lie, my mom and id would fight. Well I think of it more of me trying to defend myself. It's funny now. But anyways..I know you can't do that now a days.

Umm..take away her phone, ground her for a month and have a talk with the boys parents??

I've been thinking about punishments and consequences lately as I'm studying it in school right now. I don't know if I can help, but I'll try. It sure sounds like a heavy situation!

You want to see SD INCREASE truth telling, rule abiding, and positive socialising.
You want to see SD DECREASE rule breaking, negative socialising, and deceptive conduct.

The way to increase behaviour is to give lots of small praise, quickly, and even before the goal is reached.

The way to reduce behaviour is to quickly administer a large unpleasant consequence. The quicker the better. And usually, much bigger than you think necessary because kids adapt to a certain level of punishment until it becomes no big deal. Also, the punishment shouldn't take too long. Kids will adapt to that too. So if it's cleaning the bathrooms, it's cleaning them both, NOW. Not cleaning them this weekend, or even for a week. You know?

Also, if you know what she's after (attention, friendship, attention from boys), then providing an acceptable replacement will also reduce undesired behaviour. Like, youth group activities, more planned socialising (like weekly plans with you guys), etc, etc.

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In this case, what about during the two weeks you guys have her phone, she is not left alone. She has to stick with one of you like glue - talking, hearing about her day, she helps with all chores, etc. That gives her attention, you guys the chance to help her improve social skills by correcting any weird conduct asap, but it isn't really a reward for her. Annoying for you guys, but then again, you'll get some insight into her hobbies and interests so you know how to reward and punish in the future.

I think the old fashion wrath of dad should come down on this little punk. Guys aren't afraid anymore- they've become so brazen in these times. Dad needs to confront the boy with his parents. This shows to his little girl that he wants more for her and that she deserves respect. It shows the boy that Dad's watching him like a hawk.

My DD14 has been caught 2 times alone with her "boyfriend".The first time they both denied, and it wasn't so easy to prove. First order of bidness is to talk to the parent of Dakhotaa and double team them so they are never, ever alone again. That's all I did the first time, is laid out some ground rules as a team with the other mother. The SECOND time however, was willful and sneaky on her part. 1. Phone and I pod were taken away for one month. 2.A very frank lecture from me on what boys think about whorish girls. 3. We joined the 3 85 year old ladies who clean the church every week and helped them. I suggested since we had a strong 14yo with too much time on her hands to help us, it would be a good time to clean under all the heavy fonts. She could move them for us. 4. A preview of her punishment if there was a "next time" from her father- pretty much scorched earth.

I here ya Misss, I liken it to swimming upstream in shit. Hopefully, I planted a kernel in her mind. She's a good kid.

I would treat the breaking the rule of friends over as a separate issue to the sex pest boyfriend. Punish her for breaking the house rule. Then I would approach the sexual experimentation from an educational stand. She has to write a paper on STI's, modes of protection and birth control options and availability as well as a pros vs cons list of getting pregnant at 15. If there are any discrepancies, errors or things missing from her paper it gives you a chance to discuss it with her. If her pros of getting pregnant at 15 seem to outweigh the cons then perhaps you can do more to persuade her that kids aren't the easy option. This way you can asses her current sexual health knowledge, she gets the information she needs and an opportunity to ask you questions. She is curious about sex, she is (so you believe) wise enough to say no so far, but at some point in the future she will have sex and when she does will be her choice not yours. Opening up the communication now and arming her with information will allow her to make her choices in a healthy way and will let her come to you when she has more questions or needs help in the future.

Just read all the other replies and I like the ideas around helping SD learn how to avoid peer pressure, and to building on the dad-daughter relationship and him re-enforcing her sense of self and her self-worth.