DH and I wanted to thank everyone that took the time to post helpful advice for how to deal with SD15 being caught in her room with a boy and breaking rule #8. DH and I read over each comment and really got a lot of great ideas and insight that we both needed. It was really helpful to take a step back and not be so emotional over the situation so that we could deal with it in a calm and organized manor.

DH and I sat SD15 down to speak with her about why we were so upset and her punishment for breaking rule #8. DH was very good about talking to her about how he was happy that she was being called a prude and it appears from the short video we saw that she was making good choices. We both told her that it could have been a lot worse. At this time she is swearing that she hasn't even kissed him and that is why he was calling her a prude. I doubt this just because in the video she is sitting on top of him. DH then laid into her about how she should be treated by boys and boys that sneak into your home and say nasty things of video is not the type of relationship that he would like to see her in. We both explained that we love her and only wanted to best for her. DH also told her that trust was fragile and she lost our and it will take sometime before it can be earned back.

I was given the chance to explain a few reasons why I was so upset. I told her that I didn't like seeing anyone treat her way and that I too wanted something better for her. By this time my anger is getting a little high and I laid into her about having a stranger in my house and I feel violated that she let this boy into our home. DH 100% agreed with me and backed me up. I personally wanted to get the boys parents involved but DH decided if something else happens we will involve his parents.

I think it all went very well and a few other things were discussed. I came away feeling that the only reason SD15 was upset and crying is that she got caught. DH agreed with me but we both decided that at 15 we would have been the same way.

SD15's list of punishments:

1) i-phone is gone for 1 month. All pictures we thought were inappropriate are now saved to my personal email and deleted from her phone. She doesn't know this but we will be spot checking her phone randomly from now until the time she pays for it her self.

2) Previously, we had her hand over the phone at 9:00 on school nights. Now she will be handing it over at 7:00 on school nights and 10:00 on weekends.

3) She had to clean all of the bathrooms (3), scrub the floors in the house, and wash windows. DH is old school and wanted to see some manual labor in the mix. A special thanks to the poster about the time of punishments. She had to do it all as soon as she walked away from us.

4) She had to write a three page essay on the dangers of teen pregnancy, the rate of teens going to college and getting a good job etc. We also had her list 5 different STD's and their side effects. The essay was read out loud to us in the living room.

5) Grounded until April

6) If she ever tries to pull something like this again we will take everything from her room. All she will be left with are the clothes that I purchase from goodwill and a hair brush.