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Who bears more responsibility in how the kids act and turn out,

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 12:42pm

Bm or dh?

Just seems like there are a lot of poorly behaved skids written about here, but these kids come from all sorts of different situations.

I think it's on both parents to do things about their kids behavior. I don't care who's custodial or not. Just straighten your kids out so the rest of us don't have to deal with awful adults, lol.

Comments

FTMandSM's picture

Submitted by FTMandSM on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 12:53pm

They each blame each other, I blame them both. He can be a disney dad and well BM has a horrible attitude and it rubs off on SD.

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 12:56pm

it's both....it's easy for everyone to jump on the "it's always BM's fault" train, but in reality it's just as much your DH/SO's fault as much as it is BM's.....same for my DH and BM...they are BOTH equally responsible for how that spawn of theirs has turned out.....yep...nobody to blame but themselves...

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 1:55pm

I think their overall behavior falls on the parent they spend the most time with (unless it's a 45/55, 50/50, 40/60) situation or super close amounts of time than it's safe to say the blame would be equal) so this would be things like how they behave in school, at a friends house, with a relative etc.

I think situational behavior falls on the parent that they are with. I don't care what kind of rules the child has at the other house, if there are clear rules/expectations/consequences and follow through, they will fall in line very quickly in your care. Of course all kids have their moments and won't be perfect little robot children all of the time but I can tell you for a fact I know SDs act differently in our care than BMs. I have heard her say it and witnessed it with my own eyes.

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Mon, 02/10/2014 - 11:21am

dup

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Mon, 01/20/2014 - 2:28pm

I would agree the CP bears the most responsibility. It does suck though that someone else has a lot of influence that you cannot control.

I do feel DH & I failed somehow, given, that my SD19 ran off to live with BM & her empty promises.

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Wed, 02/26/2014 - 9:00am

"It does suck though that someone else has a lot of influence that you cannot control. "

Absolutely!

I do not think that you failed. I think sometimes it is blatantly clear that a child is the product of poor parenting, but I also know of kids who grew up in nuclear families, church on Sundays, never saw their parents fight etc. and knocked up a chick when they were 16, and I know kids who grew up in terrible situations with terrible examples and ended up being very successful and good parents somehow. A lot of the blame falls on the parents, but once they reach the age of about 16, the parents should have already done the work and now it falls on the "child"