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dealing with insecurity

ldovey3's picture

Submitted by ldovey3 on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 6:35pm

I am very thankful for all of your responses yesterday. I got an open invitation to vent out my feelings here when I need to and I need to. If you didn't read up on me yesterday. Basically I am in the middle of a divorce and we have been separated for 5 months now. Within these five months he has strung me along and found someone else who he is now engaged to and planning to marry as soon as the ink dries on this divorce.

I had a moment of weakness and looked her up on Facebook. In person she is model type beautiful and not afraid to flaunt it. From her Facebook I learned she is 22 years old and attending the school of hard knocks. She is tall,thin,tan and lives in bikinis and sheer tops,. I am in my mid thirties with 3 young kids with the youngest being 9 months. My belly is no where near bikini ready. My legs are short and chubby and my boobs aren't as high up as they use to be. I feel really insecure.

I don't want to be that BM that the stepmom makes fun of and wonder why he ever got with me to begin with. How to I kill this green eyed monster?

Comments

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 6:49pm

I would honestly feel empathy for her. I can imagine that your ex is in his mid-30's to early 40's? Is he a hot older guy or an average looking older guy (as compared to her).

So she is a hot young thing wasting her youth on some older guy with kids from his ex. Does your ex want more kids? If she does then she has really won the lottery in that he will have multiple child support orders. Her looks will fade and when they do, she will be left with an old guy. She will regret not having gone after hot young successful CHILDLESS men when she had the chance.

I would let them have the kids as much as they want, and work to heal yourself. Go out with the girls etc.

Sounds like a golden life for her LOL!!!

ldovey3's picture

Submitted by ldovey3 on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 6:50pm

lol snowflake. He is a 43 year old who is addicted to being faithful :P. and he has always talked about wanting 5 kids.

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 6:59pm

When she is about your age, he will be in his late 50's. I am your age and wouldn't want to be with a guy in his late 50's.

And as you know, once you pop out a couple of kids your body is less inclined to be "bikini ready". Trust me, she is getting the short end of the stick!

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:18am

I agree. As a former young hot girl myself, I am very glad I spent that time appropriately: partying and dating. My mother literally gave the advice to get it all out of my system while young. So, I always take mom's advice.

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Sat, 02/01/2014 - 10:10am

I'm going to print this response, blow it up to poster size and hang it above my fireplace.

Missmozzer's picture

Submitted by Missmozzer on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 7:14pm

I know some chicks who can really make a FB pic look good... In real life? Not so much. This girl will probably leave him once she realizes just how much she would be taking on. My heart breaks for you feeling this way. If she sticks with him, she'll probably be in a world of regret... They'll probably end up fighting all the time, and since she's so young, she will probably get tired of him and toss him aside. I am glad though that this means this giant douche wagon won't be around anymore. If you have some girlfriends, you should maybe take a little trip or something. Just relax and get out of town a while. Also, my body was pretty banging until I got pregnant lol! But ya know, I would trade the feeling of being a mom any day over having a nice bod. Hang in there girl! Pm me if you ever wanna chat. I'll listen to anything. lol

monica7542's picture

Submitted by monica7542 on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 8:13pm

You can't control what the fiancé thinks of you, anymore than we get to control what most BMs think of SMs. So don't worry about it. You can, however, be a good person, instead of an angry person bent on destruction. I think most of the SMs on here talking shit about the BMs are ones who have been attacked/hurt by the angry person BM, not a good person who just happens to be an ex.

It sounds like it may well be to this woman's disadvantage to be with you soon-to-be-ex, and it's unfortunate that two women have to get hurt by him. Just keep focussing on getting the divorce completed, as civilly as you can, so you can move on with your life. The uglier it gets, the more harm it will do everyone, yourself included. One day at a time, and keep thinking about you and your life, and what you want it to be now. Forward progress!

SituationalTourettes's picture

Submitted by SituationalTourettes on Fri, 01/31/2014 - 8:59pm

I'm picturing him taking her to his high school reunion, someone asks where the new chippie was during a certain time and he will have to answer "oh... She wasn't born yet..."

Pathetic. Talk about dating a cliche!

You hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. He's making a fool of himself and don't believe for a second other people aren't thinking that. Oh his buddies may grin and nudge each other but they'll get tired of her trailing behind, their wives will be threatened and catty, and eventually she will leave him for a young buck without baggage.

Karma's a bitch and she's got a target Smile