Mutual friend called H
I found out a good friend of ours, who is aware of our situation, called H. Flat out asked him what he was going to do about this situation.
H couldn't respond.
Friend said again, you know what the problem is. You know you're making decisions as though you're single and not married. You know you're treating Shaman with complete disrespect as your wife. What is worse, you're discussing your finances with your daughter first and then telling Shaman how it's going to be. Am I wrong.
H was silent for a long time, then finally said no.
Friend asked, H what are you going to do about this?
H had no answer.
Which tells me the long distance/Skype counseling I agreed to will be a waste of time. H feels I'm the one that has to once again capitulate and compromise with H's behavior and decisions. It's all about him and not about us. Or our marriage.
Every day I get another confirmation that I've made the right decision.
- Shaman29's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It's up there fairly high. He
It's up there fairly high. He may require surgery.
Yes...Yes he did. Nothing was
Yes...Yes he did. Nothing was going to stop him from making this decision.
Good, now you won't be
Good, now you won't be wondering down the road if you could have done something different to salvage it.
I am sorry you are going through this but glad you are getting confirmation that it is the right choice.
Thank you and you're 100%
Thank you and you're 100% correct.
I regret that I didn't do something about this back in 2009, when I realized he was more concerned with the appearance of our marriage, rather than the actual marriage. I considered walking away from everything then.
Shaman, you're one of my
Shaman, you're one of my favorite people on this board, and I hate that you're going through this. I agree that he just left everyone anyway. I know you're strong and will come out of this ok...but dammit...
Thank you twopines. You're
Thank you twopines. You're one of my favorites too.
I truly hoped this would be the year things settled and we could work on our relationship that has been lacking for so long.
I never envisioned his selfishness would rise to this level.
I will come out on top, especially with support like yours.
Thank you Identitycrisis.
Thank you Identitycrisis.
It's been a weird road. I'm not sure if it's because I'm still shocked or if I truly don't miss him. But I haven't had a moment where I thought....what am I thinking? He's the love of my life!
It's strange how things
It's strange how things turned out, putting me in a position of independence again.
For the longest time, H told people he never worries about losing me to another man. He worries about me getting my own place and never coming back!
aw shaman, looks like his
aw shaman, looks like his fear has come true! sadly tho', he's not acting like he's worried about it. i wonder if it'll even register to him when your lease is up and you find another place... ((hugs))
Right back at you Hollow!
Right back at you Hollow! (((((hugs!!))))
I'm trying to respond to
I'm trying to respond to everyone because you've all been so awesome about this.
I just remembered something about this same friend.
When skid was living with us, she was with us from 11-13. She had a TV in her room and one night I was walking by and saw Hugh Hefner on the screen. I asked her what she was watching and she said Girls Next Door.
:jawdrop:
I went to H and asked "Do you know skid is watching Girls Next Door?"
"Yes. I told her she could."
"H. She already has low self-esteem and an unhealthy body image. Why would you let her watch a show like that?"
"I don't see anything wrong with it. Don't worry about it."
A few weeks later this same friend came over for dinner and skid brought up an episode from the show. Friend asked "What show is this?"
"Girls Next Door."
Friend turned to H and said "You let her watch that trash?? Mmmm.mmmmm...mmmmmmm. She shouldn't be watching that stuff. It's bad for pre-teens and teens to watch something like that."
H immediately turned to skid and said, "You know, Friend is right. I don't want you watching that show any more!"
Both skid and I looked at DH with this face for different reasons.
:jawdrop:
When it comes to the skid he takes Friend's advice. When it comes to me, he has no answer.
Interesting.
oh no this sounds familiar.
oh no this sounds familiar. SO actually said he would listen to the opinions of SS8's teacher, principal, or the kids friends parents, b/c they are "professionals" but I didn't need to let him know about destructive behaviors...
b/c I the person the LIVES with the child everyday KNOWS nothing.
oh jeez I'm sorry!
Sounds like he is one of
Sounds like he is one of those UN-enlightened men. You know, those ones that think that men are the rulers and women are to bow down to them.