I just wanna crawl into a f$@king hole

We can't win. It just doesn't matter. No matter what you, what up say, the Golden Uterus is going to win. I can't fight anymore. It just doesn't matter. Why do we try? Why?

BM wants to talk to FDH. motions over. Shakes his head. She insists. I'm like a high strung tension wire knowing it's the same shit. FDH grabs me by my arm and literally shoves me over to her. I'm standing a foot from her. Directly in front. She does almost a double take and then looks away to him. Insists again to talk to him alone. Without thinking, I swear to God, it was a reflex, I said No. She looks at him and says I can't talk to you alone for two minutes? I say No again. Say We have to go and she can call him. I turn to FSD snd hug her goodbye, grab FDH's arm and pull him to leave. I hear. "You are such a bitch!" Behind me from BM. Not to my face of course. She will never confront me face to face.

We leave and then all hell breaks loose. We didn't say goodbye to FSS whose basketball game it was. So I'm now the evil bitch. It was a total accident. Even the kid is yelling at his father (who never stopped me) on the phone how hurt he is we just left. I hear his father tell him he had to get me and BM apart esp after she called me a bitch in front of her daughter. FSS has no response other than it was ridiculous.

So I leave house after we get home so he can call BM to find out what was so damn important. Now he's being punished. She refuses to talk to him on phone demanding it be face to face.

I'm at the library. I have nowhere to go. My parents are dead, my brothers out of state. I have no family. I am too ashamed and angry to impose on a friend. I am ripped apart via text by FDH saying this I lost control and made myself look stupid and him weak. I'm crying at a library where kids are looking at me like I'm mentally fucking imbalanced and might snap and throw paperbacks.

Why fight? Why? I'm ashamed we left without saying congrats to kid but BM never once said she'd be there to pick him up after work at game. I wasn't prepared not just to see her but to be shoved directly in her face. I can't stop crying. I feel sick. I'm so angry I could scream. Part of me wishes that for this excoriation by FDH that I had something really worthwhile and just punch her full on in the throat.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I sound so stupid but I feel so sick and alone

SituationalTourettes's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

That dumb twat is demanding a

That dumb twat is demanding a face to face with him just to show you she can get her way. She is trying to one up you.

And, btw, your FDH should not have shoved you in front of her.

Sweet Lorda Mercy being in a step situation sucks ass.

Don't feel ashamed. Things happen when you are in an uncomfortable step situation. Hang in there.

^ This!!

I'm sorry to hear this

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. I don't understand your DH's reason for shoving you at BM like that, it's stupid, why stick you in the middle?

I'm also sorry you have no supports, neither do I and it makes the whole situation a lot harder to handle. I don't have anyone to call up to spill my guts to, no one to offer me support or advice. It's really nice coming in here for a vent but it's not the same as a real life support who knows you personally, knows your situation first hand and can offer advice that suits the situation. But I do have to say even if I (or you) had those supports in real life they'd likely not understand the perspective of a step parent anyway.

Why do you feel you have to leave the house while he's on the phone, hon? I think you should go back and reclaim your territory at least, you've done nothing wrong, in fact you're the one who was mistreated in the situation. Why not let him leave to make his call if that's a problem.

So sorry for you (((HUGS)))

School games and events are

School games and events are so unsatisfactory AND boring when they're not your own kids. Why bother?

Thank you so much for all the

Thank you so much for all the support. He explained later that since I had been complaining of being treated like an invisible entity every time BM deigned to talk to him and I was present, he wanted me to be included and feel that he wanted me there in spite of her adolescent silent treatment of me. Unfortunately it didn't occur to him just then that it might trigger a confrontation.

I've been trying to explain to him that the last few months the boundaries have shifted because he has allowed her to shift them simply by being agreeable and friendly where she was always combative and argumentative. He has unwittingly fed into her Golden Uterus complex thinking it was good coparenting. He hates her guts but was glad to be rid of the drama. I tried to explain to him that there should be no feeling he is in the middle. There should be no middle!

So sorry this has happened

So sorry this has happened sending you a big hug {{Hug}}. I know how difficult it is to be in a step situation without a support network to fall back on. I agree with StepAside she has made some very valid points. I, like yourself initially felt I was not included & went through the hell of being piggy in the middle & being the whipping boy (girl?) in the situation & it was totally not worth it. I was constantly unhappy stressed out & having endless arguments about BM with DH even when SS wasn't with us. In short BM was taking up way too much space in my head! So over the festive period something happened (won't go into details here) & I though that's it! No more! I'm polite to SS & I pretend BM is dead. I have told DH whatever BM says or does I don't want to know. It is not my problem he needs to deal with it & insure it does not impact on our home life together. Since then I have felt much calmer & happier. Don't beat yourself up about your reaction too much, you we're put on the spot in a horrible situation & we have all one time or another reacted badly to things in the past, the important thing is to decide what to do so this doesn't happen again. Personally there is no way in hell I would leave my home if DH wanted to speak to BM why should you? Would you leave your home if DH was speaking to the plumber on the phone? No! Same thing she is just a person he needs to discuss a business arrangement with (ie. the business of raising the skids).

I can't believe he is blaming

I can't believe he is blaming YOU for this when HE is the absolutely most responsible person of any of you.

1. He procreated with crazy.
2. He pushed you in front.
3. He didn't stick up for you to BM OR to SS. (Or ever...?)
4. He didn't make it clear to BM that he is only doing written communication
5. He bitched YOU out for the situation!

What an ass. He'd have to kiss my ass for a LONG time before I'd get over THAT.

You are here