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Is it normal?

Leeann's picture

I just can't help this awful feeling of being neglegted every time the skids walk in the house, my DH imediatley starts ignoring me and the whole time they are here it's like they are glue to his hip, I feel like my blood boils every time this happens...is that normal? Does it happend to any one else? they are here 50/50 (to much time in my opinion) and he acts like he hasn't seen there in 10 years.

Comments

FrustratedButHappilyMarried's picture

I feel the same way. We get my SS every other weekend but my husband acts like i don't even exist when he's here. They play xbox together from sun up to sun down ( my hubby is 32 btw) and i just sit in my room because lord forbid the SS let's us plan to do anything because he always refuses to leave the house. So i spend every other weekend wasting away in my bedroom. It's hopeless. I hope your situation gets better, maybe your husband will eventually remember that he IS married and pay his wife some much needed attention

Kattkatt's picture

My DH acts that way, but we don't get them nearly as much, and i completely understand. Some of it is probably guilt he feels for not being with them all the time, trying to compensate by being superdad when he is with them. You should talk to him about it though, if it upsets you. You have to know that if you put him in a "pick me or your kids" situation you might be unhappy with the results. But if you want to be more involved with the kids tell him you'd like to be included when they are over and you want some say in activities.

Onewillfullstepmom's picture

Yes it is normal, please read "stepmonster" it was written from inside your head- seriously. It helped me understand why I felt the way I felt and how to ask my DH to make me feel less like an outsider in my home. You must read it. You are far from alone!

* hugs

JustAgirl42's picture

Yes.

I sometimes feel like I have a part-time partner.

As soon as SD10 is here, it's all about her. I can't help but feel guilty when I get upset though, because really, I get to see him everyday and she only sees him for her 50/50 custody days.

It feels strange sitting way on the other side of the couch while they cuddle on the other side every night she is here. But again, I feel it would be wrong of me to complain about it since she's just a little girl and doesn't get to see her dad every night.

It's difficult. Sad

Leeann's picture

Thank you guys, there was some very helpful comments and ideas, I guess the fact that I am from a different country and I just moved to the US when I married my DH doesn't really help... I have not family or friends here so I am more sensitive about feeling neglected.

enragedstepdaughter's picture

I feel very sorry for you women. I can't believe that you write these sort of things about your stepchildren. Was it their choice that their parents divorced? No . Did they ask for a new mother? No. Have you ever once thought about how they might feel? A parent can never have their child enough. The child will always be first priority, like it should be. Don't push them away. H I think its horrible what you guys write about innocent small children, who've been put in a situation that no one would ever want to and to top it off they get a stepmom who doesn't like them. I've not read one comment that speaks of supporting the child. Think of how they were a family before you walked in, its only natural for him to act that way. Would you not? if you saw your own children every second week? I speak out of experience. I know how hard it is to be a stepchild and a stepmom, but i've always done my best and no matter what I've always looked at the children in my husbands eyes, cause no matter what they will always be the most important and as a "stranger" to a family the only right thing is to have respect towards them for letting me in.

and i don't have some stepchild degrading signature underneath my text. learn to love them and they will love you.

Leeann's picture

You are entitle to your opinion just like everyone else, I'm just expressing my true feelings in a forum where I am able to do it, I don't judge anybody and I don't think I should be judge by anybody either. Only a person that is in my exact same position can understand me. This is not about the children's behavior, it's about my DH behavior so I invite you to read my whole story before you are so quick to judge, there is also a reason why I am writing about my feeling here and that is because I want to learn how to deal with this situation which is very new to me.

JustAgirl42's picture

"Innocent, small children"

Not always so innocent, not always so small.

BTW, I'm a step-child too.