How old is too old?
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How old is too for a child to be picked up and carried? I would have thought that by the time a child starts school, they have grown out of you carrying them around on your hip, like a toddler. However, my DH would still pick up SS til he turned 6. And then when he turned 7, he'd do it occasionally. He hasn't done it in ages, now that SS is 11 and a half. However, last night, they both fell asleep watching a DVD. DH woke up, and carried the sleeping SS to his bed. Is that normal? My mother would never have carried me. I started high school when I was 11.
(No subject)
And his 15 year old
And his 15 year old stepdaughter picks him up and moves from one place to another if he gets in her way.
If he ain't a crew, I'll eat my hat.
If your husband can
If your husband can physically carry him then I don't see why he shouldn't. Carrying him to bed keeps him asleep and saves waking him up. If he were carrying him around on a daily basis out at the store or from the car into school etc then 11 would be too old. But occasionally carrying him into bed when he is sleeping doesn't seem unreasonable to me. I was a heavy child and my dad had a bad back so I was sad when I was about 5 and my dad could no longer carry me.
I wouldn't worry about a one
I wouldn't worry about a one night carry off. It's not like he carries the kid around now all the time. I agree with BethAnne that it was easy just take SS in then wake him as long as DH was capable of it. Nothing inappropriate in what DH did. If Dad hasn't tried to carry kid around since he was six (with the occasional carry at seven), and child is 11, I wouldn't think it's something to make an issue over. Your SS is the one who has meltdowns, so maybe DH thought not waking and disturbing/startling SS was the best thing to do.
Frankly, I've been carried several times in the last year by my two sons. When I first started using my ability to walk and was doing some falling, both sons came to my rescue and scooped me up and put me in a chair. If my 38 and 27 year old sons can carry their mother on an very occasional circumstance, I wouldn't get excited over a Dad carrying an 11 year old sleeping to bed. It's not a routine thing...just happens to be what they felt best at the time.
As a general rule of thumb, I think most parents stop carting the kiddos around on their hips when the toddlers get to big and/or new additions start arriving, at least on a routine basis. I'm not going to say no father should ever pick up their six or seven year old under any circumstances. However no, school age children don't NEED to be carried.
The skids fell asleep in the
The skids fell asleep in the car last night. Ss10 woke up and walked in but ss7 was too tired so my parter carried him in. I think when the kids get to teens they shouldn't be carried in but they will be as big as their dad then lol
Why is this an issue? Dad
Why is this an issue? Dad isn't doing it every day. Since it's a once in a blue moon thing, I think it's sweet. If it occurred all the time, I would say it was crazy.
9 and 10 in strollers? My dad
9 and 10 in strollers? My dad would have told me if I was too tired to walk I was too tired to do the rides.
OMG the strollers and leashes
OMG the strollers and leashes at Disney world drive me nuts.
Or leashes, using old resort
Or leashes, using old resort mugs (disney found a way to stop that),room occupany, sharing photo passes (disney fixed that one as well)....LOL
What tight controls on
What tight controls on profanity? I wish there were....
I don't mind the carrying the
I don't mind the carrying the kid to bed when they are asleep, or zonked out in the car, but what drives me NUTS is when SS7 stands in front of DH, raises his arms, wiggles his fingers and says "Dada uppies! Uppies dada!". And DH picks . . him . . up.
So the one day I said "Awww . . is it nappie-wappie time for baby? Do you want a baba? Or do you want a binkie?" The look of sheer loathing on both of their faces was remarkable. But I'm the idiot. :eyeroll:
I also can't stand when we are in the grocery store and SS7 whines that he's tiiiiiired and wants to ride in the cart. He's not tired, he just wants in the cart. Now mind you, he's too old and too big so he doesn't fit where kids are supposed to ride, so DH puts in him the main part of the cart . . where he proceeds to kick/step on the groceries. When that happened I would immediately stop, go get another cart, transfer my groceries and let DH push his baby around. But I've gotten even smarter - I simply refuse to go grocery shopping with them at all anymore.
Have you spoken to your DH
Have you spoken to your DH about this?
Sueu2 and Ktq, I'm hoping
Sueu2 and Ktq, I'm hoping that you noticed that the tone of my post was non-aggressive, non-confrontational and generally neutral and passive. Why could you not have simply said that you don't think examples from 4/5 years ago suffice, and that you don't think that it's enough of an issue to write about. Why do you have to say that I'm being manipulative? I was only mentioning the past examples, to put it into context, and say that the ages of 6 & 7 are borderline too old to be carried, but that I think that 11 is clearly too old. When I was 11, I was in year 7 (the seventh grade) which is the start of high school in my country. If my parents tried to carry me, I would have said "What the ???" (even if I was half asleep)
In general, this site (and there are others like this) is the most negative one I have come across. There is so much venom, vitriol and viciousness.
Why is this? A friend who I have made on this site, put up a post talking about the inconvenience of swapping skid weekends around. You should have seen the flack she copped. People were saying all sorts of insulting things to her on a personal level, and were swearing at her. When I objected to the swearing, people responded with "Oh you don't like the word fuck? Well, fuck me! Fuck fuck, fucketty fuck!". Nice...... (Just for the record, it's ok to swear to the air in general, as long as it's not aimed at someone)
And I put up a post, talking about the effectiveness of therapy. And I copped it just as much. People were even making fun of me, because my fiancee's job is not high-flying enough for them.
What the hell? This site is unbelievable. I wrote to Steptalk headquarters about my thread, and I notice that it's been removed.
And why is it, that there are other posters who come right out and make their forum topic all about how they resent their skids, and can't stand them. And do they get abused? No!
OMG no one abused you. What
OMG no one abused you.
What the hell is Steptalk headquarters?
Oh no, you said the F word.
Oh no, you said the F word. OFFENSIVE
Echo, you are so charming.
Echo, you are so charming. Just like every other kind, thoughtful and helpful post I see you put here. If we're ever dealing with an issue, we all know we turn to your sweet self for tact, diplomacy and graciousness. Wow.
Disneyfan no-one abused me on
Disneyfan no-one abused me on this thread, but making fun of me because my fiancée is a bus driver (which happened recently) IS abuse.
OMG you must be tiny! Or your
OMG you must be tiny! Or your DH must be Superman!
I'm just under 6ft tall, and have been since I was 12... so my being carried days are well in the past. Although I guess I can look forward to my declining years?
My DH is tall, but with a
My DH is tall, but with a scrawny build. Plus he's in IT. And calls walking to the car 'exercise.'
You really think that's
You really think that's funny?
What stopped?
What stopped?
Sueu2, I was under the
Sueu2, I was under the impression that this was a support group. We're supposed to encourage each other - not tear each other down. I don't mind being told that people have differences of opinion to mine, and the reason why. But you have to admit that things can get nasty on here. I'm not saying you're involved in all of it, and I wouldn't say you're abusive. But that my last comment was a reaction to EVERYTHING that's gone on here.
Seriously, if my views are irrational one way or other, just say so. If I had an abnormal fear of heights, then talking me through it would be the best solution. Not telling me that I'm being ridiculous and to knock it off..... which is more of less the attitude of many here.
Tell me sueu2... Not that I've done this, but what would your reaction be if someone made their blog topic "I resent my skids" ?
Would you criticise them?
Ktq, I didn't say verbatim
Ktq, I didn't say verbatim that you were being abusive. That was a general rant, as I've had it in general with this unnecessary nastiness that's being going on here at Steptalk. There is no need to be like that!
If you don't like the site
If you don't like the site and feel as if *you* don't get the support you're seeking, then why post here? This isn't necessarily a 'support' site. Do people give and receive support here? Yes they do. But do they receive blind unwavering support no matter what the OP post, says, does thinks? Absolutely not.
SMs, BMs nor any poster here are cloned little sheep. If someone doesn't agree, they say and give their perspectives of what the poster him/herself has written and chosen themselves to tell us. If you don't want to hear (read) what others view your situation as, then choose to no longer post. It appears that so far the opinions and advice you have received is not the type of advice and opinions you actually want to hear. Maybe it's time to move on. This is not Miss Julsie's step-parenting site, you re not the board monitor, and you don't get to tell others how they must advise, comment and support.
If you want a site where everyone agrees with The World According To Miss Julsie, start your own site, screen the members you choose to allow or not allow in insisting they abide by your TOS and live happily ever-after.
I understand your frustration
I understand your frustration with your DH treating a 6-7yo like a baby and the kid soaking it up.
My SIL did this crap with my youngest nephew. She would carry him on her hip when he was 6-7 and even 8 and she is a very petite lady. As her youngest she fought his growing up tooth and nail. My brother nearly went postal on her for that crap. She turned the kid into a cry baby pussy and he suffered because of it. He is now 13 and doing fine but he had a rough time until he was 10ish because his mom fostered a major case of pussy in him when most boys are starting to do more adventurous and physical things.
Tucking the kid in is one thing but carrying him around like a toddler is another thing entirely.