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Why pretend?

drivingmemental's picture

Submitted by drivingmemental on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 6:07pm

Does anyone else have this issue?

My DW gets annoyed at the skids for their bad behavior.
25% of the time she will flip her lid, the other 50% she will ignore, and the remaining 25% she will say there's nothing wrong they are just kids, whilst I'm rocking in the corner going out of my mind (ok a bit dramatic but you get what I mean!)

The 25% of the time she flips her lid, I feel great. Even if the behavior doesn't change as a result, which it usually doesn't, it validates my feelings and makes me feel 'human', that it's not all in my head, and we can have a laugh about it together and be on the same page.

I think that's the worst part of this step parenting journey, the pretending. I am an honest person, I can say to her they are annoying, bratty, immature etc and sometimes she will agree, sometimes she will be a martyr and say I'm an ass.
Why????? It doesn't mean I like/love them any less, it's just the way they are, but she takes the high road like there is nothing wrong and they are perfect.

Who are you trying to convince? Yourself?

I can say no, I'm not taking them xyz or doing xyz with them because they have misbehaved/ don't deserve it whatever and I'm a jerk, yet she will jump on the opportunity to do overtime on a weekend and be away from them and not dealing with it. The work is an excuse not to deal with it.

If she could just be honest it wouldn't be such a big deal, when she claims there is nothing wrong with it that's when the issues start because then I feel like I'm the monster and it's all in my head, when it's not!!!

Anyone else have this problem?

Comments

Bossladee's picture

Submitted by Bossladee on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 6:28pm

AMEN!!!!! I'm with you 100%!!! I know my kids can be beasts, they are sassy, loud, can be rambunctious, love to fight with each other, make messes, etc., and it's OKAY to acknowledge they are being turds when they are! I absolutely discipline my kids, and I sleep like a baby every night KNOWING my children have an upbringing, that their parents put forth EFFORT into the kind of people we would be proud of. And, honestly, they do make us proud. My kids know better than to act a fool anywhere but home, lol.
That does not now or ever change the fact that I would die for them, they are my babies, and I love them bigger than the sky.

I have 'friends' that I am no longer close to because its so annoying when their kids act up and they act like nothing is happening, their wittle angels are perrrrrrrfect, they put no effort into actually raising their kids. It's my biggest pet peeve. It's ok to tell your kid to stop screaming in the store, or whatever. They will live without 17 cookies, too. Grrrr.

drivingmemental's picture

Submitted by drivingmemental on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 7:50pm

Yeah they are with us full time, 13 and 14. They used to go to their BD EOWE but we moved so now it's half the school holidays. God I miss my weekend off!! Lol

boogeymom's picture

Submitted by boogeymom on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 11:39pm

You pretty much sound like the male version of me. Only I don't like/love my skids, never have, never will, so you have the advantage. My pie chart looks more like DH blows his stack 70% of the time with zero actual consequence, 25% of the time he agrees with me that his kids are total monster brats, and then there's that 5% of the time where I'm definitely wrong no matter what.