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Long time lurker... First time writer

drivingmemental's picture

Hi all,

I have been using this site for a while now to help me through this crazy experience called step parenting.
I decided it was about time I created an account and contributed, as well as
seeking some advice and help.

About me:
Stepfather to 2 kids
14 year old SS and 13 year old SS

14SS is a bright kid, smart and pretty good to be around. Very lazy though

13SS is about as dumb as they come, lazy, manipulative, been treated as the spoilt baby and acts like it, and after reading stories about mini-wife syndrome he is a wannabe mini-husband.
He is the cause of most of the drama in the household.

They live full time with DW and I, and used to have EOWE with BF until we moved across state, so now they see him sporadically when he can be bothered.

Been with DW for 5 years, entered the picture when SS were 8 and 9, DW and BF had been separated for 4+ years before I was around, so no 'home wrecking' etc involved

I love my DW to pieces, but the rose colored glasses have slipped and honestly I think they are both lazy parents.

After reading other people's stories I have started to disengage, and am hoping to preferably get to the stage where I can let things go and stop caring, or move on.

Comments

queenofthedamned's picture

What dtzy said.

"Engage in times of safety, danger, and complete chaos reining in the home. Other than that, lower your expectations of the skids to absolute ZERO, not my kid, not my problem, and sadly, you have to find that
zone of 'let DW and the BF' do their worst as parents."

This is exactly what I have done. Surprisingly, though he still has a ways to go, FDH has stepped up quite a bit in actually parenting his kids.

drivingmemental's picture

Thanks for your replies, your right I do need to let it go. It's going to be a Long few months around here I think!