I would not/could not, tolerate this life. That is why I would not marry or live with my DH for many years.

I really am floored at some of the situations that SP's put up with.

In my situation, my DH would NEVER allow SS to disrespect me. I just could not put up with all of the other crap.

My deal breaker would be most of what I see on this site. My main step problem is the adoration from my DH to SS. (Way over the top)

And SS's personality. lol

I really dont have it that bad compared to SP on this board.

DH is very supportive. He knows he raised a bunch of entitled spoiled brats and he knows I wont deal with them. BM doesn't bother us too much. Or when she does I just dont engage her. DH doesn't put up with any shit from BM.

Skids are older, so that makes it easier for us as well.

In the beginning (once we got engaged and moved in together) things were pretty bad. But I made it clear to DH that I will not live my life miserable because of his kids. It wasn't a pick me or them situation but it was definetly I will not tolerate them being assholes in MY HOME.

I think it makes it easier for me as well because I dont engage in the issues with the skids. I am disengaged.

Deal breakers would be if DH went back to how it was. Honestly though I dont see that happening. He sees how much more peaceful day to day life is since the skids stopped visiting in our home.

I dont feel like I have to tolerate a lot to be with DH. In my own dream world would I wish that DH had never been married before and didn't have kids- yes probably. It would make life easier. BUT it is what it is.

GOLDEN RULE- People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I made it VERY clear with DH and with the skids; I will not tolerate the B.S and drama, etc. I won't have toxic in my life. So if you bring it, you are GONE! Life is too short to live unhappy.

DH can be a lazy shithead. I can be a horrible demanding bitch. But we love each other and have learned to accept each others flaws. At the end of the day if the world went to hell in a hand basket there's no one else I would want by my side.

Short of cheating or physical harm to any of us nothing will make me call it quits. And there certainly NOTHING any kids or BM can do to change that. Lord knows they have tried, funny thing is we get stronger when we face adversity.

I agree with so many of the previous posts. I love my husband, have waited my whole life to get him. We've known each other almost 19 years and it took us 16 of those to finally figure out that we belonged together.

Like Echo said, I know the situation does have an end to it, and while I know that there will likely ALWAYS be Skid and BM drama of some kind, I married him and only him. I took on his problems and his baggage but he picked up mine too and it's freaking H-E-A-V-Y. When all is said and done, it will be me and him sitting there together - just me and him - and that means more to me than any of this crap. I'm willing to wait it out.

Besides, this is a site where we MOSTLY come to gripe and get a sympathetic ear, doesn't mean our lives are always miserable.

Dealbreakers : physical abuse to my family in the first marriage broke that deal; infidelity broke the second one.

Thanks for starting this thread HungryEyes, I think it's therapeutic. Makes me remember the real reasons I do all of this, and it's heartwarming to read what others say.

I love my spouse. He tries hard to make me happy, even though in some ways he's not very good at it yet. Also, we have our own kids together.

Dealbreakers: SS hurting my kids (really hurting, not normal sibling scuffles); DH compulsively lying

Honestly? there are some days I have no clue what makes me tolerate this.

I thought being widowed 'early' in life was hell on earth. Little did I know....

Good question.

Apart from my love for DW, the fact that we communicate and communicate often helps. When one of us is spent, stressed out and just about to lose it, the other picks up the slack. That is what I love the most about my DW. She is one of the most understanding people I know and she can be the "crutch" I need when I need it. Apart from that, our immediate family (my folks and my in-laws) are also very close. We speak to them almost every day. They are also ready and willing to jump in to help us whenever we need it. My job and my choice of career is a big bonus too. I am so lucky to have a good paying job and an extremely understanding boss. As long as I meet my deadlines, he doesn't care if I come in late and/or leave early which is sometimes necessary because of the kids. SS fractured his wrist once, so I left work early to take him to the hospital.

Now the big question you asked is "What could my SS do which would make me say, 'I'm done'?". Well for me, the big issue is SS's future. I have absolutely zero interest in supporting anyone (including my own bios) who won't make any honest effort to do their fair share of work. Right now, I help, push and encourage SS to do well in school but he is content to put in the minimum amount of effort. This is unacceptable. I already told my DW that if SS goes the distance (college, military, trade school, etc) I will support him. If he flunks out of HS (and there is a strong possibility of that happenening), then I am done with SS. Once he turns 18, he gets a job and he moves outof the house. I already stated this quite plainly to DW and she said "Well you may as well kick me out too...".

I suppose this is why DW has been pushing SS to succeed much more now than she has in the past. Neither DW nor myself want to reach that "point of no return"... DW is seriously considering hiring SS a tutor. We are supposed to talk about this tonight in fact.