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Update to "leaving DH soon"

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:04pm

Yeah...I'm definitely leaving him.

http://www.steptalk.org/node/169501

Like two days ago we were arguing over I don't even remember and he said something that changed the way I looked and felt about him. That he didn't want me anymore and wanted to start with someone new. He took it back and also took back wanting to break up but I've been biting my lip to keep from telling him how I feel because I just am so mad.

When I'm not wanted, or when you say certain things(like that), my feelings instantly change. He is not the first boy it has happened with. Long story short he breaks up with me about every week and a half to every other week, so I'm waiting for him to break it off again and I'm just not going to stay or come back. I'm moving to TN. When he finally blows up over bullshit again and breaks it off, I'll probably say what I just told you all, but I'm over it. Before, the only thing holding me back from leaving him when he treated me like crap was because I love SS like my own. Now, even that wouldn't hold me back of he pushed my buttons too hard. So, hoping he doesn't do that before he does it first ( I give it a week/week and a half). Tune in.

Comments

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:10pm

And might I add, I am happy to start my life without all the drama that is around him! When we broke up before and I left(if you read my first blog) for my home state, I was happier. I already know what I'm looking forward to. Serenity. Peace of mind. The ability to have girl friends. To learn to surf. To NOT worry about all that stressed me out before-everyone in his life, including the A Hole DH himself. He's just so mean.. Idk I just want it to be over. Kind of scared...ya know, since we've been together a while..I get that dropping feeling in my stomach when I think about it yet I get so happy and feel a breeze when I think About life after this.

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:21pm

Divorce. I posted the link^… We've been together 3-4yrs. When we broke up for that week and he asked me to get back with him I asked if he talked to BM. He lied. After I drove the many hours back and every day for like a week something with BM comes out. And my heart is broken. Because he made me think he was a changed man and would Starr appreciating me and how he realized I was the only thing he needed to be focused on. Yet, here he is..breaking up with me over nonsense, still. I was much happier when I was gone. Yeah lol I'm divorcing his butt and never looking back.

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:22pm

I'm not. And the only friend I did have around him he pictured me dominating her. So no, I don't have friends Sad

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:25pm

I just don't want to feel guilty for leaving SS because of how I am the biggest source of affection and positive guidance he has. But trust me, I believe I would be fueled enough to if we were to argue again, because he always says or does something that makes me wish I "could" leave him. Now I can. Because I feel differently. J just don't have the courage right now because he's being sweet. Although make no mistake, I am avoiding him and am still fuming. I just have to grin and bear through it until one of us gets mad again. Weird, but true..

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:23pm

Why wait for him to break up with you again?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That's what I was going to ask.

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:26pm

^

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:26pm

It was hard not to all yesterday and last night, I'm just scared of feeling guilty LATER :/

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 1:54pm

You're feeling guilty because he's emotionally abusive. Stop and think about this situation, think about how unfair and unfulfilling it is for YOU- your "guilt" will vanish. Maybe even make a list of all the ways you'll be better off. It's not guilt, it's fear. Good luck and God bless.

AboutToDrown's picture

Submitted by AboutToDrown on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 5:50pm

Thanks everyone! I'm going to try and be brave, wait until after the weekend(we get SS and I want to say goodbye. We both mean too much to each other to cheapen it by leaving without even saying anything to him. Like last time) and I've gotten prepared a bit/repeated my "better off" list, and then break it off. I'll keep ya posted. Thanks again, everyone!

leighanne's picture

Submitted by leighanne on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 7:16pm

Smile I moved out about 7 1/2 months ago. I'm very happy. I got a 2 bedroom home for bs6yrs.old and myself. I just got a new car. I'm going up instead of down. Dh and ss15 couldn't believe it. Anyways relationship is better with dh. He can "see" now it wasn't all me after all! !! Lovin it Wink