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BM interfering on DHs time.

step.life's picture

Submitted by step.life on Fri, 09/23/2016 - 2:04pm

BM recently volunteered to be one of the people in charge of one of SD9 extracurricular activities that takes place once a week. DH has week/week custody of SD. So far things have gone downhill as we predicted. BM just can't let SD have anything on her own, we wanted SD in this activity to be around other kids her age, and develop peer relationships. SD now just climbs all over BM, holds her hand, sits on her lap, and all kinds of other toddler behavior. (SD even told us BM rented her a stroller at an amusement park this summer!) So she's unengaged with the other kids and acts like a baby during the weekly sessions. Not only this but the main lady in charge has dropped communication significantly with DH, does not inform him of scheduled activities, and has lied about a few things. All the volunteers seem to withhold info from DH when he tries to be proactive and ask questions. Also he feels like BM is intruding on his weeks because of the way SDs behavior changes after being around her mom that day. I told DH since it's become a problem, he should just stop taking SD on his weeks and she can participate when she's with BM. But he's not sure if it's fair to SD or not. What would you do?

Comments

step.life's picture

Submitted by step.life on Fri, 09/23/2016 - 3:36pm

Yes, DH is a drop and go parent. Per the lady in charges request at the beginning of the year. She requested all parents drop and go at the first meeting to ensure the kids stayed focused. One person resigned, then BM took over.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 09/24/2016 - 1:18pm

" we wanted SD in this activity to be around other kids her age, and develop peer relationships. SD now just climbs all over BM, holds her hand, sits on her lap, and all kinds of other toddler behavior.... So she's unengaged with the other kids and acts like a baby during the weekly sessions."

I'f Dad is 'drop and go', how do you know how SD behaves during the entire activity?

step.life's picture

Submitted by step.life on Sat, 09/24/2016 - 2:18pm

After SD missed a weekend activity, DH decided to stay for the next time to make sure he didnt miss any parent information, and this is how she was behaving. I think its safe to assume its a regular occurance. We've also seen her like this at school event's like 'meet the teacher' and other 'open house' type events.

step.life's picture

Submitted by step.life on Fri, 09/23/2016 - 3:40pm

Yes, I think they feel as though BM already has info and will relay to DH (not the case) when DH asks for info during drop off he gets answer's like "we havent planned that yet" or "we will be discussing that next week". SD has already missed an event that took place on a weekend because DH wasnt informed. BM told SD "Well I told dad about it, I dont know why he didnt take you" (lie)

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 09/26/2016 - 3:24am

Depending on the CO - if it stipulates week on week off, DH can refuse BM to have SD on his time...
He can take SD to her activities on his own, he's her parent...

I get this feeling BM is not taking SD to her group things, it's all just a smoke screen, if it was true SD would've been more independent..