BM Calling Late @ Night
Good Evening,
Does your BM hound your SO for money? This less than devout "supposed" christian sends e-mail, she calls etc.
I posted last month on BM calling at night....so yesterday BM Calls @ 11:37 PM(SO didn't answer it, she can go Fuck herself if its a non emergency)...wondering where her child support is....she called again @ a more reasonable time at like 11:30AM today(didn't answer)...Yes its true, if SO did pay his CS at the first of the month we wouldn't have her calling as much...my CS is garnished from my exs wages as well through a governmental agency but I am paid whenever the FRO feels like paying me(which is at some point in the month). I must add...she gets CS every month but because of how SO is paid and rent is due on the first, it is impossible to commit to both simultaneously...unless one of us gets a raise.
I sware ever since we got together ...this women has been very demanding of SO's money(which she deserves CS)..
Because SO and I moved over the summer(were renting) BM has been very investigative/curious about where we moved to..she called over the Thanksgiving Weekend Yay Not! naturally I remove myself from her calls but get so damn curious as to why she calls it gives me much anxiety...all I heard her say was "I need detailed instructions on where your living." Blah Blah F-off.
I told SO Flat out that she is not to see where were living...call me an Evil Stepmother or "Dads Evil GF." But after her financial interrogations about me...she is not to know anything about me personally, including where I am living....We go down to see the kids, well bring them here....this women has never once helped in pick ups/drop offs as soon as we move, suddenly "ill help."
I get more people have serious problems with the EX Bio Parent...but man does it bother me.
Don't even get me started on Christmas I can already feel the ridiculous impending Christmas list....
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I'm sorry, but the BM does
I'm sorry, but the BM does have a right to know where the father is taking her child just as much as he would have a right to know where she was taking the child if roles were reversed. No judge anywhere is going to say one parent could keep the location of their residence a secret. Sure, you can make drop offs in a public place so she never comes to the house, but your SO really has no right to withhold that info.
Imagine if your DH had primary custody, and BM was talking SD for the weekend and she had some sketchy new BF you were really nervous about and she would not tell you where she lived or was taking the child... doesn't seem so fair from that perspective, does it?
As someone who has dealt with a high conflict BM for 13 years, and can understand the damage and pain they cause I can honestly say you might be making the situation worse by your actions.
You make a VALID point...I
You make a VALID point...I get it..no judge would...these kids are 13&15 soon to be 14&16.
She wants to see where we are living so she can say I need more $$$$....this place is considerably nicer than where we were before.
My ex didn't tell me where he was living when he knocked up his now ex gf...my daughter ONLY stayed with his parents I would not let him take her a lone(he didn't want to either) so visits were done at the grandparents home...I didn't ask where they were living because I didn't care and he is a high conflict ex and my daughter did not reside with him...my daughter was in the care of the grand parents.
Weve taken them SO's kids on vacations, she didn't ask what hotel we were staying at etc. Don't you think it would be more integral to know where your kids were staying if they were going away? As opposed to a remote location ie.dads house? The kids can tell her where we live...the problem is, if she comes here, shell expect to come inside than she'll be doing a home appraisal analysis and saying well you have a flat screen tv..you can pay more CS and put SO on a guilt trip that gets taken out on me.
On the contrary...I can be
On the contrary...I can be conflicting and stubborn(when provoked) but I by no means interfere with his relationship...if I did I probably wouldnt be on this site.
As for legal requirements you do not have to provide an address unless it is written in the CO...ie,he must provide current work information, change of address etc...this was written up 15 years ago and I have never seen it.
Yes..I get she should know, but she has his work number(Same as cell) e-mail address(work related)...the kids have not come over as of yet...we go down to see them...she doesnt like driving unless we give her gas money. Now, she doesnt mind doing the driving because she wants to see the new place. She can see it, but shes not coming in the house...but SO wont know how to stop her..thats why I flat out said, she is not coming over.
I am VERY SCARED and ANXIOUS for her to see the house..because she'll get false ideas on how were living.
I agree with Tog. You are
I agree with Tog. You are being unreasonable.
CS should be paid on time, the same date every month. Whether the 1st, 10th or whatever is unimportant: but on the same date. This will cut down on stress for all involved.
Bear in mind the kids DO cost money and there are things that NEED to be paid, therefore the BM needs to know when the money is coming in.
You also DO need to give her your address. Her children are there.
However, there is absolutely NO reason for her to enter your property. If necessary you can lock the doors until she is gone, and if she tries to force entry, call the police.