Today is just one of those days that you question if you really are in the right place in your life. SD is 14 and we have had on/off issues with PAS with BM ever since I have met DH. They were long since divorced and BM was on husband #2 when I came in the picture. In 2011 we had MAJOR issues with PAS to the point that SD wanted nothing to do with SD. The 3 of them went to counseling and SD was lying about some much. It absolutely crushed DH. He was a mess because his greatest fear was losing SD and that came to fruition. In fact it always seemed that he parented that way since SD was always able to call the shots of where she wanted to be (even as young as 5) and BM encouraged it. I have always been supportive of DH and was his emotional rock through the hot mess of 2011. Well in 2012 SD must have finally realized that BM has been lying and trying to get her away from BD. SD wanted to live with us full time…of course this was AFTER she said the dad should apologize to her for the lack of communication between her and her dad. I spent many hours drying tears and counseling SD to help her through this. Our plan was always to tell SD that she has two parents who love her and both want to see her happy wherever she was at the moment. Did I believe it? No....but it wasn’t my place to go there. I was just trying to get a 12 year old through the emotional mess. She asked us again about living with us full time since BM and her were constantly at each other. BM is so insecure and can’t let SD be just happy. We tell SD her job is just to be the best person she can be and don’t let the issues between her parents become her issues. Again…lots of hours involved in getting her through it. Based on her request, we pursued 50/50 time. She didn’t want 7 days on and 7 days off since she would be at BM too long if things went south and honestly DH said he didn’t want to go 7 days without seeing her. Lawyers were hired…...court papers submitted. We have done this schedule since early Spring. We are constantly asking SD if schedule is working for her and she always says yes. So last week at 10:00 p.m SD texts DH and says she can’t do the schedule anymore and effective immediately it will be 7 on/7 off. Keep in mind BM always wanted it that way. So of course DH jumps through hoops and contacts his lawyer to make change (BM never contacted her lawyer since she expected us to pay). I’m saying…let’s cool off and gradually work through the request. Not spring into action just because SD demands something. Then SD decides that DH just doesn’t understand her and she needed to be at BM last week. Same crap as before. Now this week she decides she is going to be with us. DH is happy and I’m fuming. We had a blow out last night. SD is never held accountable for any of her actions. WTH?! She can pick and choose to stay with us and say things and nothing is ever said. I told DH that I didn’t think 7 on/7off was a good fit since SD would be alone most of the time since we both work. BM is off several days during the week. I said last night that I can’t keep being the emotional support for everyone when I don’t have a say in anything. I love them both very much, but I’m stressed and pissed off. I just want SD to be here with us and be happy, but there is always drama with her. She is either made at her mom and runs to us or made at her dad and runs to her mom. Of course BM encourages that…and when it happens DH is devastated. I’m finding myself more and more distancing myself. I told DH last night that I don’t want SD to constantly talk about BM when she is with us. We should just have normal family time and talk about the day, friends, etc. He said he will always allow her to talk/vent about BM. I said fine…...I’m just not a part of that anymore. I’m drained…….