STBXH stole money from me
I can't fucking breath right now. I checked my account and all of the money I had saved for a down payment, first months rent and furniture for an apartment GONE. All of it GONE and I'm overdraft 200 dollars. I'm having severe chest pains the only person that had access to my account information was STBXH. But I took his name off of the account so I don't know how he gained access. I called him and he lied to me about everything. My pending balances are from some club, Best buy, a pawn shop and some fast food places that he visits. Not to mention two withdrawals totaling 400 dollars each. One of his friends told me DH took them out to the bar last night with a few other buddies all drinks on him. I alerted the bank of the fraudulent charges. Who does that to someone they love or ever loved. How could you steal money you know I worked so hard for and basically snatch a roof from over your baby's head. My eyes are so blood shot and I want to drive over there and confront him. Now what am I going to do grovel to my friend to stay in her guest house until this is cleared up and I get my money back or save up again? I HATE him. I can't believe I ever loved him. How dare he!
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What did your bank say? If
What did your bank say? If you're the only one on the account, they screwed up.
ETA: I hope you're pressing charges for theft.
(((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry,
(((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry, breathe, it sounds like you have great support from friends. What did the bank say about him gaining access to the account? He shouldn't have been able to get money if they closed him out.
Now you know he won't draw a line at how unacceptable his behavior can be...and you can put up firm boundaries to protect yourself and baby. File your court paperwork ASAP for parenting plan and divorce, maybe a restraining/no contact order while you're at it if he is going to steal from you...and from previous blogs I have read from you, I believe lie to you too.
The bank said its showing I
The bank said its showing I am the only one on the account but the purchases were made using a debit card but they wouldn't listen when I said they must have not cancelled his because I have my debit card right her. They told me to file fraudulent charges for the charges I did not verify. I will be pressing charges for theft. I'm fighting so hard not to go confront him. He keeps digging the fucking knife further and further and messing with my finances is to far.
call them back and work your
call them back and work your way up.
"hello, so-and-so bank, how may i help you?" "yes, i need to speak to the branch manager."
then u get transferred, and ask for THEIR boss, then THEIR boss, etc.... if you dont get "high" up enough to satisfy you, and then try to block you, tell them your attorney will by in person to file a formal complaint unless your request is heard by the proper supervisor.
someone screwed up, and it's their job to fix it. make them do it.
((hugs)) i am so sorry for you.
THanks and I will try to keep
THanks and I will try to keep professional all thought I want to jump through the phone and bitch slap someone.
My DH and I share a joint
My DH and I share a joint account. Our debit cards have two different numbers that link to the same account. The bank should be able to tell which card was used.
Your STBxH does not sound like he is even worth the air he breathes. I'm so sorry for you. I would not confront him. I would sit down and think hard: what else might he have access to? Birth certificates, bank accounts, car keys, what? Then make sure you take steps to protect those things. If you google "how to prepare for divorce" there are some good resources. Sadly I don't think draining a joint account is that uncommon, though totally despicable.
I am so sorry this is
I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Hoping your friend will offer to let you stay when she hears what happened.
If the bank screwed up they should be putting it back and make sure to tell your lawyer, whether it's the bank or him being an asshat.
I know you probably really want to confront him, but don't. Sounds like that's what he wants and for you to HAVE to go back to him by taking all your money.
Again, I am so sorry. Stay strong.
I'm sorry but how the hell do
I'm sorry but how the hell do I stay strong now? He keeps pulling crap. The second my feet touch solid ground he pulls the rug from under me.
You stay strong by not
You stay strong by not letting that asshole win. Don't let him know that it caused your any problems. He wants to hear from you, not hearing from you will piss him off. It's like some of the BMs on here that pull shit just to get a response or know that they've made life harder. He's doing that same thing. Wanting a response or to know that he's made YOUR life harder.
So work with the bank, like previous poster said about getting the higher ups.
Work with your attorney to get the paperwork filed quickly.
And if you run into him, give him your prettiest "the world is fucking awesome" smile.
Then go home and bitch it out with your girlfriend over a glass of wine...or come tell us on ST. We'll be here for you.
Also, get legal separation
Also, get legal separation ASAP.
Ir was after I took him off.
Ir was after I took him off.
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^ Vis
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^
Visa and MC are very strict on this. You should not be liable for any fraudulent charges, and they will be able to track by the unique debit card number. If he used your unique card, and pin, then you may have trouble. But if he used his own card (which you had already invalidated for the account) for these transactions, then you are totally covered.
First, open a new bank
First, open a new bank account at a different bank and from now on pay any and all income solely into this. Get new cards associated to this account and cancel absolutely everything else that you can think of. It won't help this time but it will prevent it from happening again.
Second, if all these charges have been made after he was removed from the account, the bank are at fault. I don't know where you live, but if the bank refuse to admit fault, perhaps you can actually press charges on both the Ex and the bank for theft - after all it is your money and Ex has taken it from you with the bank's help.
Don't confront him directly as you will engage which is probably what he wants. It's an expensive life lesson but in a worse case scenario, even if you never got ANY money back (which you should as it was fraudulently taken) it's well worth the price for your freedom.
I second this idea of new
I second this idea of new accounts at a new bank.
I tried to close a savings account at my bank and it took me 7 monthd and multiple calls to make it happen. Little glitches in the system kept popping up and reopenning the account (and charging the monthly fee of coarse). First it was an automatic deposit that reopenned it.... So we stopped that transfer and reclosed the account. Then the system decided it owed me a few cents in interest so the account reopened....etc etc. Seven months of assurances that everything was taken care of.
Save yourself the hassle and worry and start fresb at a new bank where you know for sure he has no access to your money
It seems certain that the
It seems certain that the bank will have to put this right. On the bright side, it's a fresh reminder of how you are absolutely doing the right thing leaving him, and it's good to have a reminder for those weak moments when you might get wistful. Recently I have been mulling over the saying 'the best revenge is to be happy'. There's a lot of truth in it, nothing will hurt and frustrate your ex as much as you remaining calm and positive and getting on with making a happy new life. So pursue this with the bank, don't give stbex the satisfaction of knowing he got to you.
If you are serious about
If you are serious about pressing charges. Go file a police report and bring the documentation you have (documentation of WHEN you had your STBXH removed from the account, prints outs of the account activity with the fraudulent withdraws etc) Get the report # from the PD.
Give this information to your bank branch.
Instead of calling the bank, I would go in there personally. This way you get someone face to face instead of on the phone where it's easier for them to give you the runaround.
Also, were you able to remove STBX from the account by yourself? My my ex and I broke up, we both had to go into the bank together to do it. The bank said to us that they do not remove a name from the account unless that person is there saying they want it removed bc you both came in to open the account together, making it no more yours than his.
When I left my exH, we also
When I left my exH, we also both had to go to the bank & sign to have my name removed from our joint account.
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