SO smothering me after our big fight last week.
Had a big fight after SO scolded me for mouthing off to SS16, in front of SS16.
SO calls this a tiff, and the next day it's as if nothing happened. And ever since then SO has been smothering me, overly affectionate, even more than usual. I mean like clinging and hugging on me hard and kissing everytime we cross paths. He's always been affectionate but this is too much.
I rebuffed his "I love you's" I told him right now I need more time and I need respect a whole lot more than I need love.
I've seen this type of behavior before, right before I broke up with my last bf.
I'm definitely hurting and angry with SO but I haven't decided to leave him yet.
I guess I'm going to have to tell him to give me some space. I don't recover from big fights as quickly as SO does. He'll of course take this as rejection. Oh well.
God, I wish he would just let me be.
- Onefootout's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It's called hoovering. He
It's called hoovering. He knows you are one foot out, so to speak and now he is on his best behavior to try to get you to stick around.
misSTEP, wow. You know who
misSTEP, wow. You know who taught me what hoovering was? SO. He said that's what his crazy ex wife would do to him. Then he went to the shrink for men website and learned all about hoovering.
I'm so tempted to ask him, "Hey, SO, are you hoovering me?" He would be so mad. Lol.
He's is so dramatic sometimes.
Yep, it's like holding a gun
Yep, it's like holding a gun to their heads and they begin to tapdance for you. As soon as they think the "heat is off" they go back to their old ways of disrespect and taking you for granted. Only every time they get even MORE disrespectful in increments.
Thanks, thinkthrice, I hate
Thanks, thinkthrice, I hate that I'm starting to see the light about my SO. I really thought this one might be different than all the others. Hes at least an improvement but not sure he's enough of an improvement.
^^^Yep, this^^^^ DH was on
^^^Yep, this^^^^
DH was on his best behavior for a grand total of five days after I bailed on him overnight. Now he's back to his douchey ways. Good times...
princessmofo- today is day 5.
princessmofo- today is day 5. Let's see what happens, lol. He's really not all that douchey unless I call him out on something. Then watch out.
I've been with the GD for ten
I've been with the GD for ten LOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG years now (feels like 1,000 years). His "nicey nicey" stage only comes after a complete volcanic, violent episode and lasts for about oh, an hour now. The "nicey nicey" stage gets tinier and tinier as the years go by. Before he moved into my house he was lovey dovey 24/7. The "perfect" gentleman. Now he is in a constant state of rage because he feels he:
1. Lost his "white picket fence" fantasy with the BM
2. In the process "lost" his children EVEN THOUGH he kissed their hineys 24/7 (rolleyes)
3. Lost my sympathy for him (yep all outta sympathy here after being bitten repeatedly trying to help him)
4. Lost his wonderful "extended" family namely his In Laws that completely took advantage of him yet had him under constant watch to make sure that the BM Princess Bride (TM) was being treated as such
So now he feels he doesn't have to try to please me anymore because he's "been there/done that" with the BM. :barf:
thinkthrice, ugh. And we
thinkthrice, ugh. And we haven't been together very long.
I left the night of the argument and when I came back, the garage door wouldn't open. I had to park outside, go around and let myself in the front door. The power was out just to the automatic door opener. Lights and everything else worked. Confronted SO and he was so evasive, would not give me a direct answer. I can't help but think SO somehow messed with the garage door to make this dramatic statement because he was pissed I left without telling him. Door worked fine a few minutes later.
Real mature SO!
FDH is doing this right now,
FDH is doing this right now, overly lovey. texting me baby and I love you's. He is affectionate but he's smothering me bc he knows he's in the dog house. I'm not feeding into it and he's all pouty and telling me I'm the only one for him and picking up the house before I get home........ :sick: takes more then that FDH- get your shit together and keep it together
I know, right. Tired of it,
I know, right. Tired of it, so fake.
Apparently non tolerance is
Apparently non tolerance is the key. I'm at at the stage ( thanks to all you ladies and personal counselling) where I don't care if he goes or stays. I'm planning my life either way. Think he knows that because he he has been the nice H for a while now. Bet if I show an inch of weakness he will revert. This is really hard work, why do we stay????