The Xbox issue
I have asked SS 3 times now that when he is finished playing on the xbox, he is to shut off the console, place the controllers back in the recharge cradle and shut off the TV. After the third time of coming home and seeing the TV on with the xbox controllers strewn about, I quietly placed everything away and then removed the power converter and hid it. I told DW that if SS wants to play on the xbox, he is to talk to me first. I also explained to her that I hid the power converter and why I hid it.
DW calls me at work the next day saying SS wants to play on the xbox and if I know where the power converter is. I replied "DW, I told you I hid the power converter. If SS wants to play on the xbox, he is to talk to me first". DW then said that SS says he is very sorry and he will remember to put everything away and shut down the TV and the console from now on.
"That's nice DW." I said. "But I want to hear that from him! Please put him on the phone."
DW tells SS to come to the phone. I wait. I can hear something being said between SS and DW but it is muffled. DW comes back and says "Never mind. SS has decided to do something else."
Not exactly how I wanted to see this scenario play out, but I am at work so I say fine...whatever. DW and I talk about dinner plans and then we hang up.
The very next day, I am at work again. I am in a meeting and when I come back to my desk, the message light is flashing on my phone. I pick up the message and it is DW.
"Hey! SS wants to know where the power converter is so he can play on the xbox. Can you call me back?"
I shake my head and delete the message.
Seriously...Why do I sometimes I feel like I am speaking another language?
It's bad enough that SS doesn't want to talk to me about this issue but this is 1 + infinity times now that he is conning DW into playing advocate for him.
- Drac0's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I don't mind DW calling me at
I don't mind DW calling me at work. Usually the first thing she asks me is if it is okay for me to talk. Most of the time I'll say "Yeah sure" but there were a few times I'll say "not really, so if you have something tell me, please make it quick".
But yeah...SS's problems is not something I should be disturbed at work about.
You handled that perfectly
You handled that perfectly LadyFace...kudos to you I would have said/done the same thing! Unless you're dying...DON'T BOTHER ME!!!
It's SS doing the conning and
It's SS doing the conning and DW allowing herself to be conned. If this were me, I'd be more upset with her than I would be with the skid. And I'd ask her to stop calling me at work with questions/problems that she already has the answer to.
So... I see this
So... I see this differently. I don't think SS is "conning" DW. The fact that She has 'forgotten' about your conversation at least twice now would indicate to me that she either thinks you're being unreasonable and it trying to 'protect' precious SS from you Or, this kid's lack of memory is genetic because really, you've only told 3 times and his mom isn't seeming to be any better at recalling what you've said in this instance....
If she agrees that this is a reasonable stance to take about the Xbox, then when SS asks her for the cable she should be telling Him to call you, not calling you herself (though I agree with Lady, this isn't something to bug a parent about at work...). I kind of see this as her trying to play both sides... She's not telling you she doesn't agree with you and she's not telling SS to step up and talk to you. She wants to be the good guy to you both. So in this particular instance, I actually think DW is trying to con you.
agreed
agreed
I just think I would "forget"
I just think I would "forget" where I put it. Since no one else can remember anything, why should you?
LOL
LOL
I agree with StepAside. You
I agree with StepAside. You have to be on the page for this to work.
Your punishment is exactly what DH and I do when SS leaves controllers and games out. But it took SS breaking one of the controllers and scratching up a couple of games for DH to get on board with the punishment. DH would fight me on it so I gave up. Then DH wanted to get angry when stuff got broken. Not my problem I don't play the stupid thing. DH does though. Now heaven help SS if he leaves that stuff out. DH goes ballistic.
I just spoke to DW. She
I just spoke to DW. She really wants to stay out of it. It's not an issue of refusing to parent SS, but the problem (as she sees it) is that while the Xbox is mine, half of the games are SS's. So she really wants any issue with the xbox to stay between SS and me. Normally SS is mindful of the xbox and takes care of it, but since he is only with us for very brief periods during the summer, he is trying to do ten thousand things at once, so he is very scatter brained. He goes back to Donkeykong's tonight for another two weeks.
>>DW calls me at work the
>>DW calls me at work the next day saying SS wants to play on the xbox and if I know where the power converter is. I replied "DW, I told you I hid the power converter. If SS wants to play on the xbox, he is to talk to me first". DW then said that SS says he is very sorry and he will remember to put everything away and shut down the TV and the console from now on.<<
How is DW calling you to ask you where the converter is "staying out of it"? If she's staying out of it, why didn't she tell SS to call you himself? Even after you "reminded" DW why the converter was hidden, she still makes excuses for SS - saying he is sorry and he'll remember to put everything away next time.
The xbox is yours. Even if the xbox was SS, you and DW are the adults and control when things in your house are used. I would have done the same thing. My kids have a wii game their uncle bought them. But I will not let them play on it if they haven't done all their chores.
You seem to be giving your DW a free pass on this one, Draco. If she had your back, she would have told SS that you had hidden the converter and why.
I don't see this as DW
I don't see this as DW wanting to stay out of it either. If she did, shed keep referring him to you, not calling you herself.
Half the games being his also seems like a lousy reason to see a problem with what you've done. Kid colors on the walls, crayons get taken away. Doesn't matter who the crayons belong to. Kid doesn't get to drive your car just because he has his license or even if he paid for a tank of gas. If he starts sending or receiving sexually explicit photos or texts on his cell, is she going to have a problem with taking away the phone because it's "his"? A less extreme example I suppose is that if SS has a DS or something and you or a grandparent buys your BS a DS game, does that mean that SS needs to give BS his DS whenever just because BS has a game he can play on the system?
If she wants the issue to stay between you two, then she needs to not get in the middle. Calling you to ask where the cable is is putting herself in the issue. Staying out it is "Take it up with Draco, SS".
I see this different too.
I see this different too. Your wife and you do not agree on how SS should be treated. DW doesnt have your back she protects him, and after all that is her child and utimatly it is her decision how he is handled. SS backed off when you asked to talk to him because by this point you probably sound like Charlie Brown's teacher and he doesnt feel like hearing it.
I see this will become a pattern. You really need to pick your battles, be alittle less anal, and again...words to live by ...lower your expectations.
SD17 moved out 5 weeks ago because I disengaged and didnt kiss her ass. I cleaned and packed her room this weekend...the things I found would make your head spin. I never knew because I never looked at her room...why you ask? because I dont care.
>SD17 moved out 5 weeks ago
>SD17 moved out 5 weeks ago because I disengaged and didnt kiss her ass. I cleaned and packed her room this weekend...the things I found would make your head spin<
Okay, my curiosity is peaked. What did you find?
I'm picturing used condoms
I'm picturing used condoms atop a copy of "The Anarchist Cookbook"....Meh, I need coffee to clear my head now.
rotten food, smokes, little i
rotten food, smokes, little i hate you notes to me, hidden clothes that dh had to replace. mystery money, misssing groceries..the list is endless
!and used pads
!and used pads