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Parole is being revoked in two weeks :(

PeanutandSons's picture

Dh so "kindly" reminded me that SS11 is coming home from his summer visiting mil in two weeks. Way to completely fuck up all the happy vibes I've had going dh. My mood instantly plummetted and now I feel like I have a death sentence hanging over my head. I have two weeks left to enjoy my life.

I hate that that's how I feel, but it is. He's not a horrible kid, but he is ADHD and aggrivsting to the max. I feel like I am tied down with a 200lbs anchor when he's here. Nothing g is easy, nothing is relaxed..... I feel like a jail warden having to be on my toes at all times.

Sd10 is t coming back and that fills me with anxiety as well. Not sure if it will be an improvement or not. Yeah she won't be here to add to the stress and I won't have to deal with her piss poor attitude and behavior...but now SS won't have her to play with and he will be up in my business more and will be all over bs4 all the time. This results in bs4 trying to imitate his brother and getting in trouble or bs4 end up in tears because SS is so impulsive and can't control himself and hurts bs4.

I am going to be living it up this weekend with my boys. Last taste of sunshine before the clouds roll back in.....

Comments

TASHA1983's picture

*big hugs* Sad

I too feel that way when the "Invasion" (as I call it) happens EOWE and every Wedn for 2 hours, thankfully we haven't seen skid since April as he doesn't want to come over so it has been great BUT I still get knots in my stomach when the visit days come around because you never know when the plague will decide to come upon us! Sad

PeanutandSons's picture

My problem is that once he's back....he's back. We have full custody with no visitation to bm. My only reprieve is over the summer when they visit my mil in a different state for a few weeks.

Its so hard ha ing to go ten months straight without a break...

TASHA1983's picture

That is AWFUL! EVERYONE deserves a break! Sad

Do you have anyone that can babysit for you for a few hours maybe once a week/eow so you or you and dh can have a night out and a MUCH DESERVED break from stepHELL?!

PeanutandSons's picture

Step-mil/sil (they live together) will take the skids a few times a year on a Saturday....sometimes keeping them over night. But they don't acknowledge my babies as family so don't offer to take them....but even if they did I don't trust them with my kids and I wouldn't allow them to go.

Dh and I haven't had a night out without kids in two years.....and the time before that was 4 years ago. Burned out doesn't even describe it....

realitycheckmom's picture

Tasha, what exactly does your SS do that is so bad? BTW How would you feel if your DH said those words to you about your son?

overworkedmom's picture

I spent 2 years like that... it was hell. SS has started going to BM 2 nights a month and let me tell you they are what keeps me going. (((hugs)))

PeanutandSons's picture

I'm going on 6+year of it. This is my second summer where I got a break from the skids, I literally think I was about to have a mental breakdown at the end of the first 4 years with no break.

The day they get back is the day I start counting down to next summer.

TASHA1983's picture

Is there anyone that you trust like a neighborhood teen or something that you could have sit for all the kiddos for a few hours here and there? Sad

PeanutandSons's picture

Nope....skids have burned the bridge with pretty much everyone we know with their behavior. And I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my kids with the skids without me or dh there to supervise. I don't trust them and other people just let the skids run wild with the "oh they're all brothers and sisters" mentality, and my kids end up hurt.

TASHA1983's picture

Seriously that is so f'n awful...I feel so bad for you that I would offer to babysit so you could have a break! Sad

PeanutandSons's picture

No brain scan, but he spent hours with the psychologist one several occasions before we got the diagnosis. He is much much better on the meds, but he's not 100%. Personally I think he has other issues going on in addition to the ADHD, but dh isnt open to discussing it.

The meds seem to wear off hours before bedtime, so home time after school is extremely challenging as well as getting ready in the mornings before the meds have fully kicked in.