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Update to BM stopping communication including a little rant by me

theoutsider's picture

So BM suddenly stopped acknowledging FDH emails (see LONG STORY BM stops communicating and Blames FDH)
She was no talking to him at pick ups and drop offs, not responding to his emails by texts, phone calls Nothing.

So after FDH sent a text saying basically SHE had shut down communication, to unblock his email.
(FDH lawyer has not responded yet,...argh!)
It took 2 full days but we finally at 9pm Wednesday night get back AN EMAIL FROM BM!! :jawdrop: Huh??? After she swears she will never again communicate through email,...."Phone calls ONLY"
Oh BM let me count the ways you try to screw with FDH!

I won't quote the whole email, as it was very long but she included demands such as
"You need to notify me by no later than 12pm on Thursday via PHONE as to what you plan to do."
which FDH replied last night in text
"I am notifying you to your phone that I sent an email response."

She also included lines such as:
"If you were allowed to make a phone call to me...we could have settled this like 2 mature adults days ago. Being that I only check email every couple of days." :sick:
Oh so NOW BM you are saying that FDH is the one not being mature and you are totally mature for ignoring emails and then flat out blocking emails that were being sent to you about your kids..... and NOW the reason you did not respond it NOT because you "stopped using your yahoo" which you said in an email a month ago, NOT because you said you "blocked" FDH from emailing your gmail account which you said 3 days ago,........It's because you only check your email "every couple of days" and you were TOTALLY being mature about that WHOLE situation when you replied "Nope, I have blocked your email if you want to talk to me call me"....
And also BM apparently thinks FDH is being stopped from making phone calls by someone else,..."if you were allowed to make phone calls" RIGHT because FDH WANTS to talk to you SO BAD and I must be the one stopping him...

She even further pushes it by saying:
"My phone is on 24/7, I don't screen my calls...nor does my boyfriend screen my calls for me. If you want or need to reach the kids, you always have that alternative" AND she adds a little laughing face icon and a little mobile phone icon next to it!
She was talking about having no idea why the kids phone was given back to us smashed and not working, so we turned off service to the phone. But EVERY TIME she is pushing for FDH to call her phone. She is just aching for that one on one where she can scream at him....

Gawd!,... but at least she is talking again and came to her senses about ignoring FDH's emails,...

FDH also included in him email he sent in response last night
"From now on all communication I will be verifying through email so there is a complete record of what is going on with the kids."

Comments

theoutsider's picture

Good point ill let him know he does not need to reminds her again that he is only going to be using email.

theoutsider's picture

FDH actually has custody, BM gets visitation,... she is constantly causing problems and FDH tries to keep things brief and not attack her back,...

THAT I'm sure is why BM has noticed a HUGE change and it really is because of me. FDH asked me to proof read all of his emails since January. I make him change wording so it is not attacking BM as an example he used to add things on like what BM said "if you would have done it my way it could have been done days ago like 2 mature adults" he and BM would constantly make stabs at each other like that,... I make FDH remove them. So his writing style has changed dramatically since he's asked me to do that,...

He does still put time frames in like "let me know by Monday if you want me to take the kids to the party Thursday night, otherwise let me know you are taking them and I will get you the address"

I hope that's not too demanding, I think stuff worded like that are to the point and matter of fact, but I can see someone feeling pressured or controlled being told to do something by a certain day.

theoutsider's picture

There is a CO but it does not say anything about communication. BM ALWAYS had the upper hand before ALWAYS called FDH ANYTIME she wanted to. Would just SHOW UP and say she was taking the kids for visitation, not have a time for returning the kids.
FDH even told me once BM showed up RIGHT BEFORE a parent teacher conference and INSISTED that the kids ride with her to the school (which is a mile down the road from FDH house) and FDH arrive separately, and BM would drop the kids back off at FDH house AFTER the parent teacher conference. So it appeared as though SHE WAS MOTHER OF THE YEAR,....GAWD! The School knows what's up,... but still,...
THAT is why when I got with FDH I put my foot down,...

So really BM DOES have reason to blame me for the changes,... but there is no way I was going to let my life dictated by "whenever BM felt like picking up and returning the kids" FDH and I had to leave a movie IN THE THEATER because BM dropped off the kids without warning and sent a text when FDH wouldn't answer the phone saying "I think the kids are locked out of your house. I don't know where you are but they can't get inside."
I put my foot down and made him get a visitation court ordered.

There are still a few kinks to work out with the visitation for BM like "days were mentioned but not times" so that's why there is still a need for a regular communication.
Also BM lives an hour away from the kids school, their friends, their sports,... BM never wants to take them and the kids want to go, so FDH sends emails saying, "SS10 was invited to a party Thursday night during your time with him. He wants to go to it. If you let me know by Monday night, I am offering to come pick him up, take him to the party, and return him when it is done. If you would rather take him since it is your time with him, let me know and I will give you the address."

Otherwise he doesn't say anything to her.