I don't recall lying so much when I was little.. I wasn't a saint, but I also didn't feel the need to disobey my parents and lie ALL. THE. TIME. About the dumbest things too. SS11 has decided to start lying to mine and FDH's face on almost a daily basis. Since he just came into our house full time in May after being in state custody since the end of January (BM and her husband like beating kids) things have been rocky. FDH and I expected that and it seems like things will go smoothly for about three or four days then SS11 just starts acting up again.
It doesn't matter how many times we make him write "I will do what I'm told the first time", or how long he's grounded from the TV or has to go to bed early (and he thinks he's SO sneaky when we tell him lights out and he steals the hall nightlight to do whatever he wants in the dark of his room)... Do extra chores, etc... Nothing is getting through to him. We have in depth conversations with him about our expectations and the consequences of his poor behavior, never lay a hand on him or threaten to because of what he has seen or allegedly gone through with his mother.
I am a full time student while FDH works lots of overtime to pay off the debt that we accrued by making so many trips to LA for court and whatnot earlier this year. My summer classes just ended last week and I've got the next month to look forward to of spending almost every waking minute with this kid. I'm starting to feel bitter toward the kid because of all this disrespect.
I realize he can't possibly understand all of the fighting, driving, money and everything that went into getting custody of him and everything else but I can't imagine why this kid would WANT to disobey us so much when his life with us is a fucking cake walk compared to what he had with his mother. I need some motivational advice, people. Some stories of experience, some ideas of how to lose the grudge and be a good parental figure in the toughest times. I don't have any kids of my own and damnit, I love my FDH to death but sometimes being 25 taking on an 11yo with a crazy fucking mother, debt and all the other shit makes looking at my future pretty unappealing.