You are here

3Libras06's Blog

Taking in a Cousin

3Libras06's picture

It recently came to my attention that two of my second cousins are being put into boy's homes. They live in another state and basically their parents haven't had anything to do with them since they were little tiny kids. My aunt passed away a year ago, leaving them to my uncle who is probably in his 70's and just doesn't have the willpower to deal with two teenagers at this point. Both boys harbor a LOT of anger toward their upbringing, which I don't doubt one bit. They cannot go to a home together because, as the social worker said, "they fight like grown men".

Disengaging.

3Libras06's picture

Well, here comes the time where I have convinced myself that disengaging is probably the best thing I can do at this point in my relationship. I met a woman through SS11's classroom, she's the parent of another troubled young boy. Her story is long, in short, she is the adoptive mother of a boy who comes from a very disturbing background. Over coffee today, I think she unintentionally gave me the best advice ever: I don't do rewards systems. His reward is having a roof over his head, food and nice clothes.

2nd week in school and already in trouble?!

3Libras06's picture

OMG. I am feeling truly at my wits end with this child. Second week of school and the teacher has already emailed me stating that he isn't behaving in class hardly at all. He isn't turning in his assignments. FDH was VERY upset with this and gave him a lot of chores to do Wednesday night and threatened all kinds of miserable consequences (basically zero freedom and lots of work) if the behavior didn't change dramatically.

Yay, end of vacation and "readjustment periods"...

3Libras06's picture

Perhaps I need to become friends with the women on this site who claim to have disengaged and seriously barter for lessons.
SS11 came home yesterday (longest 20 hours in a car of my LIFE. NEVER AGAIN) from Louisiana after spending a little over a week with his BM. Back in KS, one week before school and she pumped his head with all kinds of shit about being back on his ADHD meds because they make him calmer and he won't succeed in school without them. (Funny, he got one B on his final report card, the rest A's after being taken off the meds...)

That Little Liar...

3Libras06's picture

I don't recall lying so much when I was little.. I wasn't a saint, but I also didn't feel the need to disobey my parents and lie ALL. THE. TIME. About the dumbest things too. SS11 has decided to start lying to mine and FDH's face on almost a daily basis. Since he just came into our house full time in May after being in state custody since the end of January (BM and her husband like beating kids) things have been rocky. FDH and I expected that and it seems like things will go smoothly for about three or four days then SS11 just starts acting up again.

Whew. :)

3Libras06's picture

:jawdrop: Ok. I have got to have more confidence in my relationship and all of this situation after all the unnecessary drama I put myself through yesterday. lol.. Sometimes we all have a "crazy" streak. It happens.

Becoming the Bigger Person

3Libras06's picture

Ok. I've taken some steps at moving past BM's drama. Blocked on FB. She was never my friend, but somehow was aware of things posted on mine. My SIL and I hung out last night and had some quality girl time. She's 36, been around the block, married prior to my brother. She is a stand-up woman who I respect greatly and she is not afraid to let someone know when they are stepping on her boundaries. So of course when I fill her in on what's happened lately she tells me that I need to demand changes with my SO.

Just the Beginning

3Libras06's picture

I feel lost right now - I'm in a place where I am not sure if I should leave my relationship or truck through it. My SO is wonderful to me - by far the best relationship I've ever had. He's a hard working man who cares about my future (I'm a student, pursuing a degree in Biology, hoping to go to PA school after this) and we discuss marriage often. Our relationship would probably be perfect if it weren't for his past and I feel horrible for saying that.