BM has bed bugs and wants SS10 to stay an extra week
Gosh what a mess. Ok so BM2 has bed bugs again. the last time she had bed bugs DH paid to get her mobile home heated re-carpeted and refurnished and to get all of her and SS10's clothes dry cleaned and sealed. All of that came out of our pockets which is the first annoying thing but we had to so that SS10 could have a place to sleep because they live in another state. So now the bed bugs have returned. SS10 was suppose to catch a plane home on Friday. But BM says he can't go home because of the bed bugs.
DH asked me if he should still send SS10 home on time and just pay for him and BM to spend a few days in a hotel until their mobile home is clear of bed bugs. I say no because we honestly can not afford to re-furnish and heat and re-carpet her home again when we can't even finished renovating or guest room so that we can move out. We just don't have the money we are barely making through with the mortgage and bills we have right now. Plus its not my fault BM is nasty and keeps getting bed bugs but yet expects us to fix the problem. I would rather SS10 stay here an extra week or two until she can figure out a way to pay to fix her own problem. Why this woman thinks that she can just live on food stamps and CS but we have to pay for everything else is beyond me. Her mobile home is paid off her car got repo'd and she is on a program that pays her electric bills so what is she using that over 1000 worth of CS on every month? Why can't she fix this problem herself?
I'm really irritated. What if she is lying out of her ass to get DH to pay for her to have a few days in a hotel and use the furniture money to get a new lemon of a car or something. I don't trust her. But we can't just send SS10 home if she really does have bed bugs. I'm so irritated I just feel like slapping the back of DH's head or giving him a good flick. Why did he stick in her aghhhhh!
What do you guys think we should do?
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Comments
Tell her to buy a steamer and
Tell her to buy a steamer and steam EVERYTHING in her house, that'll kill them.
This really works.
This really works.
It does!!! I am a steam
It does!!! I am a steam freak!!! No chemicals to worry about. I steam everything and I've never had bed bugs.
You understood that correctly
You understood that correctly I believe. The question now is do they do the same again as DH wants to do or just keep SS a bit longer and tell BM to handle the bed bug problem on her own as the poster suggested.
I agree that this is BM's problem and she should take care of it. Your contribution is keeping SS while she handles it.
Just an FYI - I too was under
Just an FYI - I too was under the assumption that bed bugs occurred only to filthy people. Boy was I wrong. I am OCD to the 10th power. My house is immaculate and lo and behold, last year, we had bed bugs. It was a fucking nightmare. Not only does it fuck with your mind, it is stressful to the point that I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. We had to throw away so much stuff. Make numerous trips to the laundromat to dry everything, spent a fortune on exterminators, sprays, powders, a steamer, new furniture, new mattresses, mattress covers. It took us 6 months to get rid of them. Even now, ANY bite I get, I FREAK OUT and start steaming the entire house. It is the most horrible thing I have ever experienced and I don't wish it on anyone. Not even our bitch from hell BM.
I'm sorry I did not mean to
I'm sorry I did not mean to offend you. I am sure you and your DH are clean people.
No offense taken! I thought
No offense taken! I thought the same thing as you did!!! I swear I was like NO WAY IN HELL IS THIS BEDBUGS! That only happens to pigs in the ghetto!!! Boy was I WRONG! The exterminator was so funny, he said "Honey, bedbugs don't know how much money you have. You should see the mansions I have to go exterminate with these critters." I was FLOORED.
I am still floored about your
I am still floored about your DH refurnishing her house and you can't even afford to renovate a room in your own house!!!?? I don't have a lot of deal breakers, but this would be one of them.
IMHO you have 2 and only 2 options....1) Skid goes home and BM figures it out. 2) Skid stays with you until she figures out how to get rid of bugs again.
How the hell do you get bed bugs twice?!
Edit to add...I see YOU are the one who was ok with paying for all of that. Come here girl and I will slap you!!! lol
Willow, They are TINY, like
Willow,
They are TINY, like MICROSCOPIC tiny! They look like little black dust dots! Kids can bring them in from school in their backpacks. You can get them at a hotel in your luggage. The movie theatre, ANYWHERE where there is upholstered surfaces! It's SO scary!
We found out about them in September. Cost us over 10k to get rid of them and 6 months of CONSTANT spraying, vacuuming. It was horrible. Absolutel nightmare.
As far as this OP goes, she should keep the kid until the BM gets it taken care of, because the Skid can bring them in her overnight bag and you'd NEVER KNOW! You cannot see them!!!
BMs problem. Shoot- if she is
BMs problem. Shoot- if she is that gross maybe as should just stay with you!
Bed bugs are the main reason
Bed bugs are the main reason I would rather stay in my RV than a motel any day!!
Yep! Same here! I literally
Yep! Same here! I literally tear a hotel room apart when we do stay in one. I pull up the corners of the bedding and check the creases in the mattress. I also look inside the lamps and down into the outlets, they love to hide there due to the warmth. It is one of my biggest fears.
princessmofo - be afraid...be
princessmofo - be afraid...be very afraid.
They are mini vampires. I'm getting itchy just thinking about it. So fucking GROSS!
Oh, and head lice! I
Oh, and head lice! I literally get the heebie geebies just thinking about it!!
Ummm... Didn't BM try to
Ummm... Didn't BM try to already talk you guys into keeping SS for another month and have a holy shit fit when she was told no? Doesn't that seem suspicious to you?
My take? She's lying. Flat out, straight up lying. She made plans for August, probably with some guy, and this "one more week" will turn into all of August with the excuse of the bed bugs not really being gone. Oops, exterminator found some more, he needs to stay one more week. Next week, oops, they aren't gone quite yet...
Unless you seriously want to keep SS until September, he needs to go home on time and BM needs to figure her own shit out. You or DH paying for any clean up or a hotel or Even to get the tickets changed is ridiculous. She's a grown ass woman,she can figure it out. She seriously has no friends or family she can stay with? Her Only option to have a place to lay SS's head is a hotel that she can't afford? That's crap.
Stop enabling her. Stop screwing yourselves over to give this lazy woman a whole new home. DH pays child support, he has obviously gone above and beyond. Stop hurting Your family financially to help out the loser that threatens you, calls you names, and generally causes grief and drama. Stop rewarding the bad behavior!!
And seriously, you guys don't Have to pay for crap for her so that SS has some place to sleep. If nothing else,there are shelters. I don't mean to sound über harsh, but if you go along with any more or this,it will literally never end. Doesn't sound like you can afford that.
Wow Aeron thanks for calling
Wow Aeron thanks for calling like it is. I needed that and I think DH needs to read this. My papa just called and said something similar to what you just said with a few added curse words.
Anytime. I just really hate
Anytime. I just really hate seeing good people taken advantage of because "there's a crisis" when the person crying wolf can't be trusted. And the timing of this is just way too convenient for me to believe it. BM is horrible to you and given her threats, her already having wanted SS to stay longer and the fact that she sound like a lazy greedy mooch... Yeah pretty sure she's just trying to get August to herself and if she can gouge DH for more funds for her "plans", so much the better.
I know how the heart strings can get pulled, I know that feeling of oh God, skid isn't going to be safe, must do Something. But in a lot of situations, it's not really the case. It's manipulation or drama creation or something else shady.
Send the kid home,let her figure her own life out. dH is not responsible for BM. And if she can't be responsible for her kid, then the custody needs to change. And please tell me you've got all of this in writing, not just phone call...
Well we have it in text. We
Well we have it in text. We try to keep the calls to and from BM to a minimal since all she wants to do is curse someone out.
DH is stubborn and won't here
DH is stubborn and won't here it. He says he wont send any money but he WILL NOT send his kid home to get bitten up by bed bugs. I can't talk him down. Also he says that BM is such a piece of shit that if he sends SS home on time she won't do a damn thing about the bed bugs and let SS get bitten up and then send pics "look DH this is your fault". But if she is lying we have no proof so better safe than sorry.
Agggggh I want to rip my hair out and he won't listen to crap I have to say.
boy that just pisses me off,
boy that just pisses me off, when they have you by the short hairs....
dumbass gets away with shit like that ALL.THE.FUCKING.TIME. she doesnt have to take responsibility for anything, cuz everyone else always does it for her. cuz she had kids.
that sounds callous, and i dont mean it against skids in any way, shape, or form. it's just irritating as HELL that she's got the perfectly built in excuse for not doing SHIT- everyone else (including myself) will jump in- cuz we care about the skids' wellbeing.
chaps my ass that she uses that for manipulation.
keep SS, cuz yes u'd feel like scum if he did indeed come back w/ bedbugs so i'd watch out for his health first. i know you know she's lying, but if you cant prove it then sure as shit it'll backfire on you every time. and i totally hear ya on the frustration of it. ((hugs))
If he believes that she won't
If he believes that she won't do anything about bugs if he sends the kid home on time, what makes him believe she'll do anything about it if the kid Doesn't go home on time? So what if she says its his fault?? He doesn't have the brain balls or mouth to go, Uh, didn't happen at my house. If you can't care for the kid properly, maybe he needs to be with me full time? Wtf?
That's the bs excuse that's going to finally goad him into sending money. "We'll if I don't, she won't fix it, and SS will get bitten..." He's allowing himself to be played. There will always be a safety reason coming out of her mouth to get what she wants because it works. If he's worried about his kid's safety he needs to sue for custody, not play these ridiculous games.