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I still havent told my mom that sd wont be living with us anymore

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:41pm

Please see first comment. Having issues getting this to post.

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PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:42pm

I guess I am scared of her reaction. I don't know how to start the conversation....nor do I want to deal with the drams that will follow. I know I need to say something soon. Nothing in my life is within my control, yet I am constantly facing the conciquences of other peoples decisions. And here I am about to get a barrage of crap about a decision that I had absolutely nothing to do with. I was not even asked my opinion ... I was told of this once it was already decided.

Any suggestion on how to bring this up and how to phrase it?

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:44pm

Just state it as a fact. And if she gives you grief tell her to shut up in the most polite way you can think of. Being your mother does NOT give her lifetime rights to berate you.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 2:55pm

Just thinking about this is putting me into a panic. My heart is racing my chest is tight, I'm shaking. She is so harsh with critisism.....and yet at the same time she is crazy sensitive so anything I say to defend myself she will burst into tears and becomes this huge ordeal that takes months to work out.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 3:00pm

Echo had a great suggestion. My mom is like that too..its sad Sad

Just remember you can't control her reactions, stick to the facts and keep moving forward.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 3:12pm

Also I have found this to be of great help- check out books from the library on controlling parents and how to deal with them. Learning to understand it and cope with it is better then feeling afraid of reactions and always walking on egg shells.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 3:52pm

Just text her. Seriously. I would sent her a text and leave it at that.

Why does she even care? I think my mom and dad probably did dances of joy when they found out ss was moving out.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 3:56pm

She is very big on the "one happy family" model and in her mind I am their mom just as I am to my bios. In fact, she feels that we should all do more for them than our bios to make up for absentee moms and to make the point that I value them as much as my own kids.

So anything less than the Brady Bunch is seen as a failure on my part.