STEPMOTHER!!
in need of advice!! my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 going on 3 years he has a 4 year old who lives with us but he really does not have a relationship with the daughter (she actually lives upstairs with his mom who is her sole provider) weve tried to bond with her but she is just like out of it, abnormal and i really dont know what else to do ....i wont stand by someone who does not take care of his child but he does as much for her as possible but the relationship is like non existent ...her mom just up and left her with him one day ..advice help anything?! a sign from jesus himself? lol
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but the relationship is like
but the relationship is like non existent ...
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That is your DH's fault. something sounds very off abut him letting his relationship get like this.
You are 20 yrs old. How old
You are 20 yrs old. How old is this man and how oldis his daughter?
And you have been with him for 2-3 yrs and his daughter has been living in the same building/house and he hasn't 'bonded' with her? I suspect he doesn't WANT to bond with his daughter and leaves the hard work to his mother.
As for 'bonding', lots of Dads bond with their daughters even if they have problems. I get the idea you think she has some kind of mental disability. Any man who refuses to parent his own child is not worth my time of day ... nor should it be yours.
This man needs to man-up and you need to find someone your own age without kids.
Your BF needs to put aside
Your BF needs to put aside the feelings he may have of feeling like he hasn't or is not capable of bonding with his daughter. At 4 years old, this child needs consistency and attention and love. He needs to get off his butt and make his presence known and also make it known that he is not planning on going away like BM did. Maybe you could help to bring them closer? If BF is not willing to sacrifice a little time to bond with her, then I suggest you think long and hard about your future with this guy. If he's not bonding with his own daughter and capable of turning his back or a blind eye, then he'll do the same with you and a child the two of you may someday bring into the world. Being a stepmom is tough, but sometimes, we have to take the lead. Good luck!
The 4 yr old son lives with
The 4 yr old son lives with him while his daughter lives upstairs with the grandmother. No mention of the daughter's age. I am thinking older than 4.
thank you and yes i
thank you and yes i appreciate the criticism hes been locked up and he didnt know he had a daughter the bm hid it until she was here he came home when the baby was two and them bm just up and left so she has not really had a bond with hin from the jump he tries we go out to dinner try to do homework with her shes just so tuned out and bad!! idk what to do with this situation and the mom has yet to see/call her daughter since she up and left
I really think dad needs to
I really think dad needs to enter into some counseling sessions with the daughter. The kid likely has abandonment issues that need to be worked out, while your boyfriend is working on forging a relationship with her.
His mother is also going to need to be on board with this, to ensure she is not undoing any positive steps the counselor gets father and daughter to make together.