This is what I think I would do. I would tell DH..."You know...since your DD does not really want me around her...I am starting to feel the same. She does not want me at her functions so that makes me not want her at our house. It is hard to open your home to someone who does not like or respect me. Since she obviously does not want to be around me, can you please take visitation somewhere else."

LOL @ love

It's not right. Your DH has been a real jerk the whole pregnancy, the whole hotel for the girls business, post pregnancy & now this. It's not right at all. He sounds like an asshole. Sorry.

did you contribute to any of her attire? if so , i think i'd have to ask for it back.

How are you going to handle this when she says the same thing about her wedding? Because if this is her attitude now, there's no guarantee it will get better.

Then I strongly suggest you do what any single mother out there would do and start looking at options for a job, day care, housing options and public assistance until you get back on your feet.

You keep saying you're stuck, you have no where to go, etc. I think you do and you're too afraid to take the step you know in your heart you want to take.

If you've had enough and you feel it's time to leave your DH, request temporary spousal support and obviously child support.

You have options but you're making up excuses to stay in your situation.

As far as your SD goes, disengage. Ignore her. Don't lift one goddamn finger to help her or help your DH when it comes to her. If she wants something, send her to her father. Don't go to this goddamn prom BS thing and stop complaining when she doesn't include you. The problem isn't your SD and her BS games. It's your DH's unwillingness to deal with it.

I don't mean to be harsh, but all of your responses are excuses to put up with it. I have yet to see a viable reason why you're sticking around and taking this crap.

I posed a similiar question to DH about SD17 the other day
"Do you think it's okay to let her exclude me like this?"

My question was after he said that things were ok between SD and I because she has nothing to do with me anymore. My question: "so it is ok for SD to treat me like I do not exsist as an adult with in the walls of a house I pay for"

His response much like your DH, "well what am I suppose to do about it?"

It's to late for intervention with these kids...

I think you should get a babysitter (pay for it out of household funds) and go out, even if by yourself, go see a movie or even two. But do not be home when your DH gets home, stay out late, even if you have to sit in a coffee shop and read a book. But don't be home when he gets there. And yes, like the others say Disengage. If you can't get out of there right now, Disengage. Do not do anything for SKID or your DH. Just take care of your baby. And make some plans, check out what is available for you if you haven't really checked this out. I think you KNOW you need to get out of this marriage because it will only get worse. Your DH has made it very clear to you that his girls are a priority in his life, you are not and neither is your baby. Sorry, but you need to realize this and make plans.

Why cant you not do anything for him? He doesnt own you. If you dont want to do anything for him or his kids then just dont. You dont have to make a big fuss about it. Just dont do it. Dont make dinner, do any laundry, or clean anything. If your husband asks why, tell him, "Oh, sorry, I wasnt feeling well". Then proceed not to feel well every day. If you want to mix it up-say, Oh sorry the baby had a check up today. or the baby had a play date. Or I took baby to get her photos taken today. In fact go get a lovely photo of you and baby together then go home and put it on the living room wall. If he complains, assure him that it's nothing personal against him or the stepdaughter you are just super busy with the baby, ill, or whatever.

Meanwhile, squirrel away the cash to make exit plans. see an attorney for a free consulation. You may have more rights than you think you do.

And for the love of god, stop caring about these people. I get that it is insulting to be excluded (I gt that very well), but these do not sound like people you really would want to be included with. Seriously. Take is as a compliment that they dont want you around. The darkness has never liked the light sort of thing. Think of your husband and your home as temporary. Its where you are going to lay your head until you can put your exit plan into place-but these people are not your "family". Essentially I would just treat them like strangers. Cordial when necessary, but keep my distance.