We bring the kids to school on Monday mornings on our weekends. We used to pick them up on Friday and bring them home Sunday evening, but both BMs put the girls in Saturday morning activities without talking to fDH, so it was switched. When FDH picked up SD7 she was wearing flip-flops and a dress with no shorts under it. As pick up was in a public place this week he didn't lift SD7s dress to see if she had shorts on, she didn't. BM1 gets pissed when we don't send SD7 home in what she sends her over in. We're "stealing her clothes".. but the school doesn't want Sd7 in dresses without shorts. FDH doesn't want SD7 in flipflops because the school asks that the kids not be in flip flops for school. We don't think much of it and put sneakers on her, with the sundress BM sent her in and a heavy coat because it was 60 and raining this morning she looked ridiculous. But FDH was read the riot act last time for sending her to school in appropriate clothes because "That's not what I sent her in!!! you're such an ass keeping all my shit!!" So she goes in the dress this time, but we can not send her in flip flops. She wears our sneakers and the last jacket we have here for her (seriously, all of them, because it's warm on Sat. afternoon and cool on Monday morning. I get how it happens, but still) and FDH asks BM1 to please have the sneakers on her next time he picks her up, and possibly could she return one or two sweatshirts that aren't SD's favorite. Nope, and we're not getting the sneakers back. "you ALWAYS keep my stuff! almost everything at my house right now isn't stuff I bought! It's crap Kifire bought! Junk!" ...um? Okay, I'm pretty sure everything we have here is play clothes. The sweatshirts and jackets we had went home on her, socks go home on her even though she comes over with none. But we ask for our only pair of sneakers to come back and it's a problem. We make every effort to send stuff back the same weekend it comes over, we've been too busy a couple times, she was sent home in something school appropriate like jeans and a t-shirt. I just assumed when we didn't get them back that BM wanted the jeans because she goes to school from her house more than ours. I didn't know we were "stealing" clothes until this went down this morning. I honestly thought she liked having SD7 sent home in nice clothes when she came over in sweatpants and plain or stained shirts. I always made sure to send the dresses and skirts back. (except for the time before today, because it was not a good day for a short sleeve above the knee sundress.) FDH isn't putting up with this, he's bagging up everything that is "BM's" and bringing it with him to pick up. Pick up is usually at GBM's house. GBM knows BM is a tool but because she's the only babysitter BM has BM won't pick fights with her. If the sneakers aren't on SD's feet he's planning on waiting at GBM's for BM to go home and get them. He's going to give BM "her" stuff back and ask her to start packing a weekend bag since she NEEDS to be in control of all the clothing. He's done with the battle. I just can't believe she threw a shitfit over giving us some sneakers back.