I say I have 3 kids not 1 bio and 2 SSs

I had a SM friend over and she was asking me what do I say when someone ask me how many kids I have. I say I have three kids my SS who just turned 5 one who will be Turing 11 and my baby boy. People say my SS5 is not my kid. He is not my kid from my own womb but he is a son to me and I am the only mother figure he really has. When I was putting SS5 to bed a few nights he asks me why God didn't let me be his real mommy and why his ley BM be his mommy but BM leaves forever and I don't leave. This is the speech I gave him.

“SS God has his reasons. BM loves you and she will always be your mommy no matter what. Even when she leaves for a long long time I'm sure she thinks about you every day and loves you very much. God also put me in your life for a reason. I am you step mommy but I will always be a mommy to you and will always be here for you and watch you perform at school help you with homework and take care of you. I love you. We are family and we are real family because we reaaaaaaly love each other in our hearts. You will always been in my heart and I hope I will always be in yours. And no matter what I will never leave you, I will always be in your heart even when you get big and move away I will find you. You can't get rid of me lol."

I told that to my SM friend and she understood. To the rest of the world I have one son but in my heart I have 3. Even though SS10 has an active mother in his life he still has a place in my heart. I know not everyone sees things the way I do. But this is just how I feel and I hope it’s ok to feel this way because I can't change how I feel.

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That's sweet.

I never know what to say. SO

I never know what to say. SO says 'WE have 5 kids' and for some reason I always retort 'I have 3 boys and he has 2 girls.'

I don't know why I do that. But I do.

When people ask how many kids

When people ask how many kids we have I say "I have one and he has 4". But the skids are older and we're not married yet. However, I often tell FDH that we need to do XYZ for our 5 kids. That's more of a reminder to him that I have a son too who needs to be considered, not just what's best for his 4.

I always claim my steps as

I always claim my steps as well. By the time you have 7, it doesn't matter whose is whose. Besides, my older 2 steps live here full time, and SD6 is here half the time, so they're always my responsibility. I never want them to feel like I feel differently about them. Or like I think about them differently.

This question always makes me

This question always makes me really uncomfortable. I answer it differently depending on who asks and in what context. Sometimes I will claim all four, sometime is say I have two and two step kids and sometimes I will only mention my two.

We have 3 boys. Mine is 27,

We have 3 boys. Mine is 27, DH's are 13 and 10.

If I am alone.... I will

If I am alone.... I will answer that I have 2 kids.

If DH is with me...I will answer that I have two kids and he has one.

I used to say I have 4. When

I used to say I have 4.

When I became the stepmonster I decided I don't have 4, I have 2.
And I act like I have 2. I focus on my family now for the most part.

My mom will say she has 5 kids and 7 grandkids. Unless she's feeling generous. Then she says 9- including my SM.
My skids have not seen my mom in almost 4 yrs. She has been extremely ill (like almost died twice) they don't even ask about her.

I have 2 daughters. My

I have 2 daughters. My husband has 2 children.

I am not their mother, I am DH's wife. He doesn't get to claim being a father to my children, they have one who is active in their life. I am not responsible for the lack of parenting my skids have, and DH doesn't get any credit for how well behaved my children are.

DH is a lazy parent. I am strict. When in public with the 4 children, they are night and day. Its obvious even without stating it. That being said, you'd assume DH is an eow dad, he isn't, the skids are in our household 50% of the time, my bios are with us 75% of the time - yet it makes no difference, his kids are animals, mine are not.

There is no, WE have 4 kids in my book. Sorry.

I often answer 4 and follow

I often answer 4 and follow up with but only birthed one. Even though my skids annoy the sh!t out of me and I debate about disengaging daily, I still find myself stuck in mom mode with them. Their skanky liar of a mother almost died last month and I was the one they ran to for comfort. I especially include them if my bui is around. BD only sees them as siblings not half anything.

It makes me uncomfortable

It makes me uncomfortable too, so I just say he has two daughters and I have two furballs of the canine species.

Very sweet that you feel that

Very sweet that you feel that way. I don't claim skids at all.

My Bio daughters are 29 and

My Bio daughters are 29 and 23 and ss is 8. Most of the people around us know our history which goes back 20 years. Know that my girls are not DH. However every one we meet now with ss being in sports all assume ss is mine. Even the school know I'am the mother figure. Most people call me mom and we let them.

I'm all over the place in how I answer. It depends on who is asking and how much I feel like answering.

If asked "How many child do you have." I may say I have 2 girls and 1 ss. My ss calls me by my name so I don't want to confuse anyone, if I call him my son and then he calls me my name. That just opens the door for people to ask question.

Most of the time we let people think what they want, unless asked.

Glad you have that with your

Glad you have that with your SS. As for me, I have one SS and one BS. My SD is never mentioned as though she doesn't exist...

I don't want anyone to think I gave birth to SS since usually he does something to embarrass me...Sorry, sounds rough, but I didn't create this child and I don't want credit for how he is turning out...

Love him and raising him full-time, but he is not my son...

I don't claim my SKids as my

I don't claim my SKids as my own, but I'm more of a friend in their life than an actual motherly role these days. When they lived with us I claimed them as my kids but now I only see them for 1 day a week and like half of that is spent sleeping, so I feel more like a hostess than a mother.