Am I wearing a Kinkos Name Tag??

As you may know, YSD is diabetic. She's been having issues lately with extemely high glucose. When she was here the weekend before last, she got sick because of it. That sprung FDH into action and he called the children's hospital, talked to a resident and got some advice. He then started looking at previous tests (data is stored in the testing device) and noticed she'd only been testing a couple times a day, far less than needed.

So when he took her home Monday morning he discussed this with BM. It's complete BS that she's not testing enough since 1- she's home all day and not in school 2- BM is home all day too! BM said she'd make her test more.

Last night, FDH told me she's still having issues. BM actually texted him (she is CP) on his business trip to ask what she should do. He told her to call the doctor again. It really burns my ass that she is so damn dependant on him. She is the kid's mother and deals with this every day. Why does she need him to tell her to call the doctor???

So this morning, he forwarded me an email from her. She had called, they adjusted her insulin dosages, etc... There was a document attached to the email. She actually said "Can you print out some of these for SD?" He, in turn, asked ME to print some out. I'm looking at this thinking, "Wait a damn minute. Why should WE have to print out this food log for BM? She needs one for every single day. Why can't she do it?" So, I responded by saying "Sure, I printed 6-- one for every day we will have her before we move". He responds "That's great, I can always print some more when I get back in town". I said "I told you we have enough and can print more before her first visit after we move". Crickets....

That man is seriously thinking of using our paper and ink to supply BM with print outs for her house. Again, we need one for every day. This will go into the future. What are we, her personal Kinkos delivery service?

Of course, this is one of those gray areas where FDH will say "This is for the kid". Um no, it's for BM's lazy ass. We will do it for SD when she's here.

And of course, I will be the petty bitch for pointing out that this is a boundary issue.

Argh.

Anne Boleyn's blog
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I think if BM continued to

I think if BM continued to expect an ongoing supply of print outs that would be boundary pushing, but really i think this particular issue is not a battle worth picking. DH suggested improving SD's testing regime and taking her to the doctor and now he just wants to follow through by giving SD a supply of diet sheets to help her keep it under control. It's a health issue, arguing over paper and ink if this is a one off is just going to look petty and potentially distract from your very justified concerns about other boundaries. I totally understand the annoyance of having BMs request forwarded on though, DH should just have dealt with this himself.

I've been thinking about this

I've been thinking about this more. My new mantra is to pick my battles. I am also really trying to understand WHY I feel the way I do about things in this situation and dissect that, before I act. Sometimes just processing your feelings helps immensely. I think that's why I love this site. It helps me do that and I get good advice and perspective from others, like you.

As you know, this really isn't about paper and ink. This bothers me because they've been divorced for 6+ years yet she still treats him like her husband and he still falls into that role very easily. (Our counselor tore him a new one the other day about how he needs to stop being / feeling responsible for his ex). This is just another one of those things. She has a printer. If she's out of ink, she could've said that. Or she could use her man's computer. Whatever. She doesn't need to depend on him for everything and he doesn't need to jump right in and do things for her that she's completely capabale of doing herself.

I understand why he asked me though. He's picking the kids up on his way home from the airport tomorrow so he at least needs some printed for their arrival. I had no issues priting them for our home and never will. But I do take issue with him doing her bidding because she's lazy and expects him to. Boundary issues are nuts here and even the smallest one now gets under my skin as they are symptoms of a bigger problem in our life.

With all that said, I am not going to mention it to him. He will see his 6 copies on the counter and get the picture or won't. I just needed to get it off my chest. And that's why I am here.

I work for an Endocrinologist

I work for an Endocrinologist and I would tell BM that she needs to take home and USE the stuff provided by the Drs office. We have so many handouts it is ridiculous. She can call the office and ask them to snail mail them or (now here is a brainwave..) arrange to call by the office and pick some supplies and resources up. She could also open up the document and COPY it out for herself. Or make an Excel spreadsheet and track her carbs on there. And I bet there is a phone app for it as well. And then why would he need to copy all the meal planners out? Tell the girl to lay off the carbs and count them like she is supposed to unless she wants to lose her eyesight by the time she is 20. It happens. We have one girl who ignored all the advice she was given and has lost her eyesight and has horrific neuropathy.

Your DH needs to understand her lack of organisation is none of his business. His daughter also needs to be responsible for her own management of this disease.

The whole thing is just

The whole thing is just silly. They have a printer at their house. If she's out of ink, buy some. If not, go over to her own man's house and use his printer. I don't understand why we need to supply her with this for her home. I printed our copies and if he wants to be her Kinkos guy, so be it. Just stupid.

The point of the paper version is to get SD11 to take responsibility and do this for herself. So that's why they aren't using Excel or phone app.

Curious what you think about this: SD11 really wants the insulin pump. They haven't let her have it so far because she hasn't been responsible enough with managing this. So suddenly, BM said she's signing her up for a pump class in early May and will let her get it if she shows responsibility with her food log and testing. I told FDH that I think that's too short a time frame. She will do what she needs to in order to get it but a few weeks does not constitute a good habit. AND she's been out of school for months due to other BS (she's being home schooled basically right now- barely). She is supposed to go back in a week. So why on earth would they take her out of school for a class at this point. I think she needs to demonstrate responsibility for two months and take a class in the summer. What do you think?

Anna I know your working

Anna I know your working steps with the counselor for issues and I commend you for this, I dont know that this is a hill I'd die on and Id probably print out all the copies needed. I would tend to agree with DH if he said this one is about the kids because it truly is.

I have a printer I dont have my laptop hooked up to it. In a bind I have asked my ex to print stuff for our kids.

I am not going to make an

I am not going to make an issue of it with him. I am just irritated as it's always something. She really forgets they aren't married sometimes. If this was a one-off thing, no problem. But she will need a print out for every day of her life. So this is on-going. BM needs to use her own printer (which she has) or use her BF's printer.