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Does anyone know how to decode men?

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 8:28am

My DH has been very emotional lately and I'm not sure why or what to do about it. After we made love he cried and held me and told me he is so in love with me. When we were driving in the car and stopped at a red light he held my hand and passionately kissed me and started crying. He cries over SDs baby stuff and sits on her bed sometimes and cries.

I don't know what is going on with him. I know he is not cheating because he has no time or energy for that and is a totally transparent person. I asked him if he has any medical issues he is not telling me about and he laughed and told me everything’s fine. So then why all of a sudden is he crying all the time? We are trying to conceive so maybe he is emotional over that. I don't know. I love my DH it’s just weird for me to see a big strong man so emotional.

Comments

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 9:17am

Ummm I have no Idea what to say. I wish I had advice. Just try to talk to him and ask him why he is being so emotional.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 9:30am

Could be he's depressed. Can't hurt to have him see someone for an evaluation.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 9:34am

I'd gently suggest counseling and let him know that I'm concerned over his outpouring of emotions lately. Let him know you don't think there's anything WRONG with therapy, and lots of men go.

He may just be depressed temporarily, but if it goes on too long, that can be dangerous.

WarmBody's picture

Submitted by WarmBody on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 11:26am

My guess is he is crying over his sadness of great loss or expectation of future great loss.

With his daughter he is mourning how his relationship with her used to be and how sad he is that he doesn't hardly know her anymore. He probably blames himself more than BM for SD's negative changes. He feels he should be there influencing her in good ways and protecting her. He should be making memories and forming bonds with her and then she'd be different. The reason he isn't is because he didn't try hard enough or he made bad choices, in his mind that's probably what he's thinking.

It is likely that he sees your mixed messages and indecision over starting a family with him as him losing what he had with you. Again he's afraid he screwed up and that it may never be able to be fixed. He wants you to be good again but is afraid.

I would suggest being supportive and loving when he shows vulnerability and not disgust or disrespect. Men can cry. It's ok. The fact that he would probably only do so around you means he feels closer to you and trusts you more than anyone. He doesn't need to wear the mask around you. Being the tough guy 24/7 isn't real, not for even the strongest of men. If he can't be himself and expect compassion and moral support from you then who can he?

When he seems insecure then he needs reassurance. I might sound like I'm telling you how to treat your best girlfriend but guys have feelings too, believe it or not. Wink

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 11:29am

Thanks WarmBody you are most likely spot on on with what heis probably feeling. I have held him and shown him comapssion but inside my head I was wondering why he is always crying. I do love him and I appreciate your advice whole heartidly thank you.