Feeling like a terrible mom not sure what I'm doing wrong
My baby daughter has been giving me hell all day. She wouldn't feed from my breast or the bottle all day. She barely napped and just cried non stop. Every time I picked her up the crying got worse. I sang to her I rocked her I took her on a drive nothing worked. I was getting ready to take her to the doctor to see if something was wrong. But DH got home from work and picked her up and a hush fell over the house. He fed her from the bottle and she hungerly sucked it empty and fell asleep in his arms. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've been so stressed out lately and this is making me feel much much worse. I just want her to love me I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I don't even know how I'm going to get through tomorrow if she is like this again. I'm just trying to be the best mom I can and I'm so stressed out and I'm starting to feel depressed. I'm baring my soul here. I don't know what more she needs or wants from me. My mom just told me to relax if I relax she will relax I tried to act calm and she just kept on crying. Seeing her so calm with DH just stabbed me in the gut.
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Oh honey, you are a great
Oh honey, you are a great mom, babies are just fickle and hard to please at times. Thank god something calmed her down - your DH, great, what if nothing could? My older son was an extremely difficult baby, would cry through the night. The younger one was sweet as molasses, and never fussed for long. I did everything the same. Guess what? I have been a good enough mom to both and they are fine. Don't worry about your daughter loving you - of course she does, and she will show it to you soon enough. But right now that she is so tiny, it is hard to know what she "means". May be she got exhausted from crying and fell asleep. Some babies are just not easy to please.
But if you are feeling depressed and stressed, please talk to her pediatrician about it. It seems you need to take care of yourself while DH is on baby duty. It's GOOD that she calmed down with him. Don't let it worry you. She is not passing judgement on your mothering skills. They are fine. Also, you do not have to be the BEST. Good enough will do just fine.
You're mom is right, you need
You're mom is right, you need to relax. You can't just 'act' relaxed, babies can feel your energy. If you're stressed and tense, your dd will know it. Especially if your anxious and already anticipating that she will fuss when you care for her, even if you try to be calm.
You need to find a way to genuinely relax. Your baby girl loves you, you're her momma. She just needs to be the boss. Try to remember that this part of your lives will be gone in a flash, she'll be crawling and giggling followed by walking and preschool and next thing she'll be driving and going to college. (((Hugs))) it's not easy caring for a newborn baby, try to enjoy the moments when she's not fussy, and take advantage if daddy!!
ALL OF THIS!! YOU need to
ALL OF THIS!!
YOU need to learn to let your DH (and anyone else who offers) to take over so you get some ME time - at least an hour or two every day where you take a shower, relax, read a book, go for a walk, sleep - whatever.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
You are becoming burnt out and it is causing you to be stressed which causes her to be stressed.
Please listen to us, we've been there/done that - had the sleepless nights and stressed babies to prove it LOL
luchay and fightincrazytrain
luchay and fightincrazytrain you're right. I guess my mommy was right. I am going to start taking some me time.
Please talk to your doctor
Please talk to your doctor about postpartum depression, it sounds like you may be experiencing it.
Try to remember its not personal. She loves you, you're her mommy. Babies are just weird sometimes.
My ex would walk into the
My ex would walk into the room and whatever baby was having a meltdown.. would stop and fall asleep. It could be after 5 mins or 2 hrs.
Babies sense stress.
Thank you. You guys + my mom
Thank you. You guys + my mom are giving me great advice. You've been there and done it. I had a nice cry in the shower. I let DH take wheel while I watched some shows on netflix and brewed a cup of coffee. Even had time to make a facial peel. I just get lost sometimes and wonder what am I doing and am I doing it right. I love my little angel but her crying drives me to insanity after about 3 straight hours and I just feel like breaking down.
Calm down, babies really do
Calm down, babies really do react to what you are feeling. If baby is resisting sleep, go for a car ride. That usually knocks them out. Or if too cold to go out, put baby in carrier on top of washer during wash cycle. That will also knock a baby out. Worked on grandson. Just remember to move baby before a spin cycle kicks in.
My niece was this way & Would
My niece was this way & Would only quiet for my husband on the really bad days. More then once I got a late night call from my sister asking me to send my husband over please before she went insane !! Some babies are just fussy.