Do you have a court order? Was it your court order appointed time with them? If so it is none of your ex's business who you entrust to care for them.

Call the police next time he steps foot on your property if he's bold enough to do this again. Make sure to have your court ordered visitation schedule in hand.

Just my $.02

That's BULLSHIT! Sounds to me like it may just be time to go all psycho BM on him. Unless it's specified in the CO that the girls are to be with him on your days off, he has no argument!

Call him out on his crap and tell him he can fuck off.

This issue seems to have some of one opinion and some on the other. I can see the logic in both schools of thought.

I guess for me it really comes down to whether the parent is custodial or if the parents gets visitation. And how long the child will be in someone else's care. If we are talking about a weekday visit to the non custodial and he won't be there then I think mom should get first right of refusal. If its the home the child lives in primarily, then I think there nothing wrong with leaving the kid with a care giver rather than carting them off to dads every time mom has something to do.

I don't see this as black and white of an issue as some.

Ugh, this is hard.

First, stalking around isn't okay. Second, driving over to talk to your H is inappropriate.

I would calmly tell your xH that if he wants to follow the "first right of refusal rule" then he's going to need to make sure that anytime you are available and he's not (even if his GF is over) that he will also be driving your children over to you. Most of the time when someone finds a rule that benefits them they want to follow it, until they realize it goes both ways and requires additional effort on their part.

Even if tensions are high, you do not need to become one of "those" BMs. All you will do is make a bad situation worse.

However, it sounds like a CO would be more than beneficial. I'd recommend getting one, and then sticking to it. Make it as detailed as possible. The less left to "mutual cooperation" the better.

my only suggestion is document document document

this guy seems like a real wild-card.

How much time does your ex-h actually have with his children? It seems odd that he would be so worked up over access unless he felt that he was losing out. He overstepped the mark going to your house in your absence but without knowing all the background I have to say that I can't help but see this from my DH's perspective. He didn't get as much time with his children as he wanted, and definitely got frustrated when BM was out or at work and instead of occasionally giving him and the children the opportunity to spend the time together, chose to leave them with her boyfriend. It would have been better for the children to have more time with their Dad. Plus a lot of stepparents resent being left to supervise visitation when the bio parent isn't even around - there's another thread on that very issue today. There's just a lot of different sides to this issue.

lmfao in this house I am rhe anti christ to bm and sd17. sd13 is not allowed and will not speak to me in their presense. but bm forces sd13 to call her step father daddy

I don't see any danger of any posters in this blog becoming one of 'those' BM's. 'those' BMs are borderline narcissists. BMs who get protective because some manipulative GF starts stirring up trouble by overstepping mom boundaries are simply human. And I am not a BM and have no incentive to automatically stick up for BMs.

And I also have no desire to play mommy to my SS. I even wish he didn't hate is mom so much. But she's one of 'those' BMs.

I so want to be a Sewer Tramp when I grow up.