"Why Does My Husband's Ex-Wife Hate Me?"
Hi, you know we are all so freaky with our bm's (our dh's exs), well I read this article and actually a couple of the thoughts struck a note. Luckily my ex has not remarried but he has had gfs and bs15 has had to deal with them somewhat, not in the home b/c non of them have moved in with my ex but ex has taken bs out on his dates with him and hated it. Anyhow, I read this and thought I'd just share even though I am sure we've all read similar articles. My dh's ex never has talked to me, has abandoned ss16 and is not part of our life at all except a few very snide comments to dh about what ss19 has told her about me.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenna-korf/why-does-my-exhusbands-wi_1_b_1...
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That's an awesome article! I
That's an awesome article! I like number 8, I'm everything she isn't. Problem is she won't do anything to change it. I know BM isn't completely over DH, the more of an ass she is, the more he wonders what he saw in her.
Very good article. NPD BM
Very good article. NPD BM hated me long before she ever met me, I feel it was because she realised she'd thrown away a good man, and now had no hope of getting him back.
And she sees that DH is a different man with me - relaxed, happy, etc - whereas their relationship was all conflict initiated by her because she has NPD.
A few of those hit home. I am
A few of those hit home. I am sure it falls into one of those categories but I can tell how irked BM gets when she comes over near holidays to pick up the kids (rare, rare occasions that she does any kid driving) and sees that my nice decoarations are all up. Hers are last minute and not as thought out. It's no big deal. To each her own. But it's obvious that it bothers her.
But most of all she just can't stand that he's happy.
I actually don't know what bm
I actually don't know what bm thinks of me b/c I haven't ever spoken to her and have only seen her at sporting events and she is usually drunk. From DH I know their home was very disconnected b/c she was always drunk (drank at least a bottle of wine and a couple shots every night and on the weekends went to the bar every night from 3pm until 1 or 2am) and dh did all the parenting. I know she is one of those moms who has NO CLUE how to be a mom and parent children. She simply cannot parent. She actually seems a lot like my exh who could not parent either. It looked like he parented well when I was married to him b/c I made our family look good with all the birthday parties, holiday décor and meals and church events and dressing my kids well and making my home look nice, but he had no clue how to parent. Anyways, I just loved the article cuz it gave me some insight
Someone asked my DW once why
Someone asked my DW once why I divorced my ex.
Rather than go into details she said "Draco's ex-wife turned out to be a lemon. So Draco turned her in and got younger prettier model."
My mouth dropped when she told me that but then I roared with laughter.
I think that's why ex-wives hate their late husband's current wives. They are a reminder that their ex-huband upgraded.
I don't care why Crazy
I don't care why Crazy McPsycho hates me. I'm a 10 and she's a 2 is my favorite way to word it. Originally she would say 'I wish you and HER would disappear. I hate seeing you all over her like an idiot.' So it was pure jealousy. SO is a great guy and she got bored and left him. Now she realizes that the world is full of assholes and she gave up one of the good ones. Worked out for me.
The Upgrade.
I spent much of my marriage
I spent much of my marriage not really understanding why she would hate me. So, I finally gave her reasons to! Haha But seriously, she doesn't even KNOW me and in the 13+ years, we haven't spoken more than a few words to each other.
Now I understand that:
1. Their relationship was so off and on that DH felt it was over but she didn't have that closure. She felt like she could have him back anytime she wanted because she had so many times previously.
2. My entrance into DH's life meant that he became much better educated in Father's Rights and therefore, took quite a bit of her control over him away from her.
3. She has insecurities in her role as a mother. Partially because she became a mom at such a young age, partially because she DOES (or did) suck at parenting. She saw that I was able to raise a child being a TRUE single mom AND have a college degree and career.
4. She felt like I swooped in and stole the life that was rightfully hers. To her, it seemed easy for me. My son was older (and only one child), I was able to not only support him with little/no help from HIS dad but I was also able to have a career AND DH took over as father for my DS (in her mind).
5. According to my MIL, she was pissed at me because she thinks she is very smart (when she is really just manipulative!) and I proved I was smarter than she was. That made me a threat.
This is my situation almost
This is my situation almost to a tee. Except I have three bios only one was living at home when SO and I moved in together. My older 2 were away at college living on their own and taking care of themselves. She couldn't stand the fact that I had raised successful kids. Also she hated the control she lost over SO and she saw the door shut on her plan to "move back home" she lost her mind. Now she lives with her pathetic BF living off SO's money (the CS he pays) which is cut off now because SD lives with us full time. Her life is in the gutter and it is all her fault.
I actually do get some of a
I actually do get some of a bm's anger though. My ex's mom basically moved into our home after he kicked me out b/c he kept the kids due to me not having a job or home (I was a sahm for 15 yrs and he kicked me out while I was in college to get a good career - sort of a bad move on his part b/c I was going to start working and bringing in a good second income - he should have liked that right?), so his mom moved into the house to take care of the kids b/c again he did not know how to parent. I remember once driving my the house that had been mine for 15 yrs and saw her out in the yard weeding with my boys and I got so angry I had a taste of mental in my mouth. It was the first time in my life I had felt SUCH anger and strangely enough it was not at my ex it was at her. A year later he wanted me to move back into the house with him after we'd divorced and remarry but then a few days later he took me to court for something. He and his mom are bipolar characters and it was up and down and in and out of court now for 4 years. I just cannot imagine how it'd be like if he had a second wife in all this mess trying to do things her own way, well maybe it'd settle down and he wouldn't always want to take me to court, or could go the other way and get worse. Oh my brain... lol
Both of DH's exes would like
Both of DH's exes would like DH to live alone in a hovel with no friends. They believe that they cannot be successful unless everyone else loses. Wonder why they have no friends?
Of course I'm trying to prove that I am a better wife to DH. Why would this marriage last if I couldn't do better for DH than the two that failed? So I think that's a stupid reason for the BM to hate the new wife. And DH better be trying to be a better husband than he was before too.
I've upgraded DH's life a lot. They hate that. It's not that he upgraded wives but he upgraded his whole life style.
I'm older (10 and 15 years) but probably prettier. But where I really outshine them is that I am likeable. Most people that I meet like me (and DH). The other two have mothers that love them. period. dot.
Im hoping SO's most recent ex
Im hoping SO's most recent ex psycho doesn't know who I am, because if she did I think she'd harrass me at work, defame me and worst case, harm my pets. but I know she hates whoever she thinks is getting in the way of her conning her way back into the lifestyle SO provided for her.
My ex defamed me in my boys'
My ex defamed me in my boys' schools. Luckily the staff saw through it but my youngest was so devastated he wanted to change schools. If only my ex knew how much his boys hate him for treating me like shit.
BM doesn't like me for all of
BM doesn't like me for all of the reasons in the article. She treated my DH like crap and expected him to pine after her and the family he had with her forever. He never pined for her.