Im sorry you're feeling so down. I think I remember you posting a while ago that your SD had said something horrible to you about being albino and what your baby might look like, and that her BM was saying vile things and encouraging her to do the same.

I do not blame you in the slightest for not wanting your SD around. I would not want someone in my house who had insulted me like that either. You are, as you say, human just like everyone else and you absolutely do not deserve to be insulted, harassed and bullied by ignorant, stupid people like BM and your SD. You deserve to have your feelings and views heard and respected and if your dh cannot see this, then I'm sorry to say he sounds like he's in denial and doesn't show you enough respect.

I've always believed in life that it doesn't matter one bit how you look, what colour you are, what size/build you are, what conditions/disabilities you may have, you are still a person and your character is the most important thing. There's not much point being the most attractive and beautiful person in the world if you have a nasty, horrible personality and enjoy hurting others and caring for no one but yourself. I am very overweight and not very tall. I have been bullied and insulted in the past because of my looks and it does make you feel like shit. I learned that these sort of assholes are not worth bothering with, and that I know that although I might not be the most attractive person in the world, I'm not a bad person, have some good qualities and am doing the best I can in life. You do sound like a strong lady who has had to tolerate a lot of crap and, understandably, it's getting you down. You are very aware of how you feel and why, and you are able to admit that you have insecurities just like everyone else. That in itself shows strength, as it's not easy to admit you feel insecure and second best.

I really hope you can talk to your dh and get him to understand how you feel. I hope he doesn't try and guilt you into letting him bring SD to your home. You have a valid reason not to want her there, you should never be put in the position of facing harassment in your own home, and if he's that desperate to see her, surely he can go off and see her elsewhere away from your home. I wouldn't even think about trying for a baby until you're feeling better and have worked things out with your dh. If you're finding the potential to bump into bm stressful, would it be practical to move to another town? Maybe not too far away so work/school isn't disrupted, but just to somewhere else where you're less likely to meet her in the street? I know that might not be an option for you but it's such a shame that her harassment has left you feeling so stressed at the thought of running into her while doing your day to day stuff. Maybe counselling would help? It won't solve other people's ignorant behaviour, but it might help you feel better able to cope.

I really hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you know what you want and are doing a good job at enforcing boundaries to protect yourself. Stay strong and look after yourself!

SD and BM are abusing you. You messaged me last week and said that you stopped posting because of people being mean to you on here and that you don't need any more abuse. No one knows your truth, just like no one on here knows anyone else unless they have connected outside of this venue. I reached out to you because I genuinely felt very sorry for you given the situations you described. I hate bullies. I have worked with adolescent children for years and I have witnessed first hand what it does to a person's self-esteem and self-worth. I am quick to defend anyone that is being picked on. The way you have described BM and SD, they are horrible awful human beings and have no right to pick on you the way that they do. I felt suckered due to you just disappearing, which, according to people on here, that is what the fakes typically do.

After receiving your message and reading your explanation, I can see why you would just stop posting, and I have a feeling there are a lot of other posters besides you that have been on here that reach out only to be treated poorly by some of the ladies on here, and they let that stop them from coming back and getting the help and support they need. Everyone was questioning the newest active poster recently, and I had my doubts as well, due to that influence, not wanting to be taken in and deceived, and now I know she is real, which only proves sometimes, people are wrong on here. Extreme stories do not always mean people are fake. There is another poster on here that seems to be loved by many, and she posts some crazy, dysfunctional, extreme, attention seeking type posts, that if it were a new poster saying the things she does, everyone would call her a fake as well just due to the content, frequency, and titles of her posts.

You having the courage to post again in spite of all the doubts, says a lot. If you were a fake, I don't think you would bother, I might be wrong, but I personally don't see why you would come back if you knew you would be called out and treated badly again. I hope people on here will be kinder to you in the future.

Porcelain Doll... I was attacked on here too. I was accused of being a troll and having two identities just because when I first got on here I was venting a lot. Please don't let the meanies keep you from posting and getting the support you need.

I think it's horrible the way you've been treated. Your husband should be protecting you from that kind of abuse, not condoning it.

Porcelian doll, I haven't followed your whole story, but I am glad you ignored those negative voices and came back.

I am so sorry for this uglyness in your life. I would let dh kno just how you extremly feel about sd comming back into your home. Your home is supposed to be ur sanctuary, not a place for torment. Bm is jealous and probably hates her life sd is too ignorant to realize it. Tell dh that you would feel more comfortable if he would visit with her outside of the home.