Feeling guilty...
So SD ended up coming after school yesterday and I am having a really hard time keeping my mouth shut about how upset with her I am! She is making all kinds of snarky comments about and to DH (which he is addressing) and I am biting my lip trying not to say something back to her. I am sick of all the lying and crying bullshit she is doing at her moms about us and then when she is here she acts like nothing happened! I kind of hope she decides to stay with her mom next weekend and not go on our mini vacation with us. I am pissed at her and could use some advice as how to not bite her face off about it. Leaving is not an option today. DH is getting his taxes done, so right now I have the girls. I'm trying to just keep my distance from her, but I am soooo mad!
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You are in a really tough
You are in a really tough spot because you are keeping her. My advice is not for everyone and does not fit every situation, but it worked for me. When I finally got to the end of my rope, when I had been used and abused by everyone for too long, when it got to the point where I would rather leave my marriage than deal with skid anymore ever, I disengaged. It takes huge changes and the ability to not let your DH put you in these positions, but it is worth it. Now, if DH is working, skid is not here. If Dh has errands to run like getting taxes done, skid goes with him. I don't care anymore how it may inconvenience DH, I am not an option and skid is his responsibility not mine.
I think that if you want to
I think that if you want to be ticked off at someone, be ticked off at bm and dh for allowing her to play them against each other, deciding the visitation schedule and act like this.
I am mad at them. Im just
I am mad at them. Im just sick of it all. I tried disengaging and that didn't work. I have too many control issues. DH and I talked about it last night and I do feel a little better towards SD but it is still frustrating that she lies so much.
I understand. I have had
I understand. I have had major issues with letting go, giving up trying to control this mess, but once I realized I was never going to control it no matter how hard I tried or no matter how in the wrong DH was, once I realized I ws exhausting myself all the while getting nowhere but more run down while skid and DH never changed, it made it somewhat easier to just give up.
I'm disengaging even more
I'm disengaging even more now. Today I did not agree to go grocery shopping with SO, and I went separately and bought my own groceries, and am now making my own dinner, separate from SO and SS. It's the same kind of dinner I used to make when I was single, and I can't tell you how good this feels.
I was feeling so suffocated by SO's requirement that we eat at the dinner table as a family while I listen to SS slurp every bite of his salad. So tense and awkward. I've now moved my TV tray into the bedroom, and it's dinner for 1! I love it. SO is pissed off, but who cares. I still love it.
I have major major control issues and I'm feeling more in control than I have in a long time.
giving up control is he only
giving up control is he only way to go and it in and of itself has it's own issues but I find he issues that come up after disengaging is all about how I feel about something. IE the control tendency creeps back and I have to hold it at bay.
And Anon, if I am not mistaken this SD is "old enough to know better" at some point these kids have to be held to some kinda standard of knowing right from wrong.
Getting over it already, suck it up, be respectful. Not walk around all snarky and being nasty throwing comments at an adult who happens to be her father.
It's bullshit. If he was her boss and she did that shit, she'd be gone.
She's not a teen-I think she
She's not a teen-I think she is about 7 or 8.
She is almost 8, but I think
She is almost 8, but I think that she is old enough to at least know that she is being disrespectful.